My goal in writing this, is not to diminish any one side’s voice.
Rather, to bring to the table that there is a time and a season for everything.
I feel like I’m pretty middle of the road- and even so, I know I’m still at fault, at times.
I’ve spent the better part of the past year trying my best to listen, and I still felt like there were times my voice wasn’t heard.
On one end, I’m tired of being a punching bag, on other, I need to stop throwing the punches, on the other, it’s time I make amends, and use my voice to help build bridges.
The point of this is, cycles happen- and they don’t break until there is change.
And, there needs to be more people standing up in the gap, building bridges to make change.
This is not to say that this is necessarily “your time” for any specific area- rather, whatever you are ready for, and on your time table- I’ll hope that you’ll remember and be open to what changes you are personally ready to take.
Politics aside, this is not to say don’t stand up for what you believe in.
Rather, stand up for what you believe in and be loving to your neighbor. Hear when you have wronged others, and when you’re ready- because we are all on different time tables- break the cycle.
We all have a responsibility to the parts we play in our circles, in our society, and in the world.
In different aspects of our lives, we may be in different parts of the cycle. We may be breaking cycles in one area, and still needing a lot of work in another. And in some- man, do we really need to just stop talking, and start listening and doing!
If I’m way off base, or you feel like any part of this was hurtful- please feel free to open up to conversation with me!
My goal is to keep a space that allows for honest, open communication that works towards coming together.
Tonight, my husband and I were talking. We had just gotten back from having supper with my sister and her family, the kids were playing in their room, and we were just chatting on the sofa.
We were talking about the delicious meal my hubby had just made, and I was encouraging him to do something with his skills. Be a chef? Make how-to cooking videos on YouTube? Idk! Something!
And, the conversation took a turn, “I want to make sure I have some good recipes before I did anything like that!” Referring to the YouTube videos. “I mean, I don’t want to do something where ya make the sauce, and just pour in the noodles”. He looked at me, and laughed.
Now, if you know anything about me. . .this story has probably come up at least once:
When my husband and I were dating, in high school, we had a celebration coming up. I can’t remember if it was a 2nd anniversary, a birthday, Valentines, or what. I do remember; however, that I wanted to make him his favorite meal. Fettuccine Alfredo. I was making the alfredo sauce from scratch. And.it.had.to.be.perfect.
Now, up until this time, I think the only thing I’d made for myself was ramen noodles. No following recipes. Nothing. Let’s keep in mind, also, that I was probably 17 or 18, at the time.
So, I go to make his favorite meal. I don’t remember the exact recipe, but I do remember what it stated after making the sauce: add noodles.
Y’all! I took the noodles, straight outta the box- and dumped them in the sauce. And.they.would.not.cook. I did not realize, at the time, that first I needed to cook the noodles in boiling water BEFORE I added the noodles to the sauce.
I lost it. I cried. I was so upset.
We had to go back to the store, and I had to get all the things to make the whole meal, again.
And that’s me in a nutshell. I get this big idea in my head, it has to go perfectly, and when it doesn’t I get really down on myself. I feel like a failure. All the things.
Tonight, I laughed about that story and my husband’s reference to a YouTube video coming out like that it experience. It’s funny. I shake my head and laugh at the memory.
Over the years, I’ve had to lower my expectations. I’ve had to learn how to: just keep it simple and not over do it, to laugh and not take life so seriously, and most importantly to let go of the idea of perfection.
So, going into this Holiday Season- this year of all years. Imagine my 17 year old self making fettuccine Alfredo by putting raw noodles in the sauce. Laugh a little, and remember: it doesn’t have to be perfect. Keep it simple. Make some fun memories.
Wow. When I wrote this…it was back around Thanksgiving. I remember this one-two week period, distinctively. It was the moment I realized that I really and truly have to shut down, all of the things, so that I may feel all the feels and sort through all of the thoughts. Now that we are 3 months into Corona time, with all of the things that are currently going on in our world. I’ve realized that there are some amazing people out there who don’t know that what they are going through is ok. What you are feeling is ok. You are not alone. If you are someone who lacks the support you need, I’m working on creating a resources page. If your situation is urgent, I implore you…find and seek help in your local community. In the meantime, I hope this reflection of what I wrote back in November is helpful and brings you hope.
Anxiety and Self-care:
Over these last couple of weeks, I felt myself winding up…anxiety wise. I couldn’t figure out what was going on…but I felt like I needed to slow down. So, I did.
I allowed myself to not go full steam ahead.
I allowed myself to slow down and tune in.
If I didn’t feel like writing, I didn’t. In fact, I slowed down to pretty much only my 30 Days of Thankfulness that I was 100% committed to.
I slowed down on house work—to what needed immediate attention…
You know, I have talked about my “5 Daily Things” I started making progress towards, after hearing John Maxwell speak this summer…and for 2 weeks…I didn’t focus on those at all.
And that’s fine. I needed to slow down and figure out what was triggering me.
It took a couple of weeks, and one good night of crying…but I finally figured it out and got all of that anxiety tension released.
We really need to make ourselves, and listening to our bodies a priority.
When we are taking care of ourselves, we are better able to take care of others.
There is room and grace for survival mode.
There is room and grace for missing out on taking care of ourselves. It happens.
But, once we cue in…we can slow down to figure out what’s going on. And what we need to do.
Check out the article. Tell me what you think. I’ve tried all of these tips and agree.
It’s funny, because I used to hate yoga for exercise. It felt slow and awkward. But last year, I tried it for a season and loved it. It was just what I needed..and I’ve been missing it, since I gave it up last summer.
When you think about self care, don’t be surprised if something you used to hate or would never think about doing for you turns into a something you like.
If something crosses your mind to try…try it.
If you’re a mama-or someone who needs self care, but doesn’t have a budget to spend on yourself…don’t worry.
When I started my self-care journey I had to get creative, because we didn’t have the budget for me to go get massages, pedicures, and the like every week.
I’ll share resources on some budget friendly and simple ways to find self-care. As well as, things that are self-care that you may not have thought about. I certainly didn’t.
Sometimes, going through our every day life…it seems like things are against us. We can’t get traction that leads to momentum. And so we give up.
Whatever that is for you….don’t give up.
Keep pressing on and in. With God, you will overcome.
In our weakness, He gives us strength.
Don’t give up. Seek God’s wisdom. Dig in. Press on.
Check out these Bible verses:
2 Corinthians 12:9
Those things you overcome, can be how you shine light and hope for others.
Hold onto that!
Always remember, in the thick of it that you are loved more than you’ll ever know by someone who loves more and better than anyone on this earth ever could. He loves big, and all you have to do is come to Him!
Then, shout it on the mountain tops…just how good He is- give Him all the glory.