Hanging on By a Thread

Posted on by rootedmama

If I’m honest, my relationship with Jesus has been hanging on by a thread, since about 2018.

When I wasn’t seeing the things I was hoping and praying for come to fruition, I felt like I couldn’t trust Him anymore.

I was looking around, seeing what was going on in the natural, and slowly losing my faith and trust in Him.

In the last 24 hours, I can see God not only working, but speaking straight to my heart.

When I came home with a flat tire, a neighbor generously helped my husband to fix it.

When I’ve been doubting God and His plan for me, He spoke to me when a friend sent me a message, and another friend sent me a song.

When I felt like I couldn’t see Him and I couldn’t hear from Him- all of a sudden, there was breakthrough.

I was reminded that He does see me, and that through these encounters- all Glory goes to him!

I’m so thankful for the people He has placed in my life, in this season!

I’m so thankful for His faithfulness, and the continued reminder that everything is on His Time!

Advertisement

Begin, Again

Posted on by rootedmama

These last couple of years, I let go of “Words for the Year”. Those statements and values to help you decide what kind of life you’re going to live that year. . . Typically, at the beginning of a New Year.

I felt like something different was needed. Looking back, maybe there was a word/phrase that I lived by. But, I definitely didn’t give it a “stamp of approval”. I kind of, just did it.

Looking back, I’d say my phrase for the last two years has been: “Just Be”. That looked like loving myself and loving the moment I’m at, finding a space to accept ‘what is’, and just living in the moment. Not forcing anything, and letting life just happen.

As we have been inching closer to the end of the year, I have felt like I wanted words to live by this year. But, I didn’t want to force it. So, I waited on God.

And today, it hit me. I felt a small whisper.

Begin, again. Outdoors More. Intentional.

And while, I have a feeling that I know what that means. . . I’m going to incorporate these words to live by, with what I have learned over the past few years.

Begin, again. Outdoors more. Intentional.

While I’m living life this way- I’ll also “Just Be” and allow life to happen in the moment.

Anxiously Waiting

Posted on by rootedmama

I’ve spent a lot of time, these last few years just waiting. Waiting on God.

In some instances, in the waiting, I have felt like I couldn’t trust God any more. I have felt hurt. I have felt left behind. I’ve even been plain mad at God. And this past week, I have felt the most anxious I have felt in a very long time.

A lot of things don’t make sense.

I can’t even count any more, how many times, since 2020 that I’ve said: Life just doesn’t make sense right now.

But there are some things, that I am confident of:

* I’m confident that whatever you’re going through, you are not alone and you are loved. There are sooo many people out there sharing their stories. They share their stories, for many reasons. Know that one of those reasons, are so that you and I know that we are not in this life and journey alone. And you are loved. There is a tribe out there that loves you, even if you haven’t found them yet. There is a person out there that loves you more than anyone ever could. And He will leave the 99 to come find you!

*I’m confident that while the waiting sucks, there’s a purpose. And then waiting is painful sometimes, but God can use that pain. He can use that pain to help other people. You can (although not always) use what comes from that pain, on the other side of that pain, and sometimes even in that pain to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

*This one is hard for me to say, right now…but, I know it as a truth- because God’s word is true, and because I’ve seen Him work over and over and over again. I’ve seen it happen in my life, in my friends’ lives, and in complete stranger’s lives. All of that to say: God’s plan and timing is perfect. It’s better than anything you or I could ever dream. And, while I know this to be true…it’s a truth that I’m struggling to hold onto, at this moment.

Honestly, I could keep going on. But, please know, this last week of the year…If you are still waiting on God for His perfect timing, if you are feeling alone, if the pain is too much to bare, right now. He is the light in the dark. He loves you more than you could imagine. I know it’s hard, right now…but, keep holding on!

21 Days of Christmas: Days 11-21

Posted on by rootedmama

Today is Christmas Eve-Eve. And, as I look back in this advent season I’m reflective of so many things.

Waiting is hard.

How we wait is hard.

And, sometimes the very best way we can work through that hard is in how we show up.

This year, I found that the best way I can be the hands and feet of Jesus is in how I show up with those in my tribe.

How I show up in the yearly traditions, in the unplanned freezing cold days, in the new traditions.

This year, and into the next season- take the time to reflect on how you can show up with connectedness. Not only in big celebrations, but in the day-to-day and in the pivot moments.

10 Books in 10 Days

Posted on by rootedmama

This year, I set a goal to read 12 books. One book per month.

Here we are, December 16th, and I have only finished 2 whole books this year.

I decided that I do not want to finish this year, without working towards this goals.

Tomorrow, I have a half-day at work. Then, I’m off for two weeks.

So, I’m going to spend my break reading 10 books.

I’m not so certain I can do this; however, if I don’t try, then I definitely won’t.

Remember- it’s never too late to pick a goal back up!

I work better under pressure, anyways- haha!

When You’re Not In The Holiday Spirit: That’s Ok!

Posted on by rootedmama

It’s almost December. Like, tomorrow. I really truly want to be in the Holiday spirit, but today. . . I’m not feeling it.

My husband is out of town.

I’m tired.

I miss my family.

I miss my friends.

We’ve had 6 different illnesses run through the family in one month, and it’s looking like this winter is going to be a rough one.

And, I’m just weary from waiting on God. I’ve been processing this waiting period, and it just doesn’t make sense. Maybe it never will?

So, you know what? I’m just going to let myself feel all the feels.

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned in life, it’s this: Feel All the Feels.

Let yourself think about the frustrating things. Be sad that life doesn’t look the way you planned. Feel hopeful for the future. Laugh at the funny things in life, and allow yourself to have fun. Feel happy, when you find joy in something. . .

It’s when you hold those things back, that you’re not being your true self.

And, just remember to not camp out in one space for too long. If you’re mad or angry for too long, you run the risk of only thinking negative. And, if you pretend to be happy, when you’re not- and you shove those feelings down. . . They’ll find a way out.

That doesn’t mean you have to display every emotion, publicly.

But, allow yourself, and love yourself enough, to process those feelings, privately- or with a trusted person!

If you’re also not feeling the Holiday spirit, today. . . I’m sending you love. Know that you’re not alone. This world needs you.

A New Season

Posted on by rootedmama

Wow. Have you ever looked back on a time in your life…a time where you thought you were happy. You thought things were the way you were wanting to live, and even though you thought you wanted to live that way…things just didn’t feel right…Only to come out of that season and think…Man, I was not happy.  There was a lot going on there. Those aren’t the things I wanted. That’s not how I wanted to live. I am coming out of one of those seasons.

I needed it though. Without trial, we don’t appreciate the things in life that we have. We don’t grow. We just stay right where we are. And sometimes, it’s ok to be content with where we are. And it’s also great to want more out of life. To do more. To be more.

I found myself waking up each day. Going to work. Picking up my kids. Coming home. Repeat. Day.After.Day. Sometimes, routine like that is great. That’s where you should be…but for me…I wasn’t living. I didn’t make time for myself. And it wore me down. I was doing for others…but not doing for myself. And we have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others. (this is where I am always reminded of the flight attendant coming over the intercom, explaining that in case of emergency to place your breathing contraption on before you can help others.)

I found myself slowly depending on God more and more. He brought me to a point where I needed to depend on Him to live. He showed me that His love is what fills me up. That I can get my joy from Him.

And now, I feel like I am living more in the present. I look forward to living life. I have more joy. Some days I fall flat on my face. And my savior is there to pick me up. I’d rather it be some days…than most days. I’d rather depend on Jesus most days. I try for all days, but I’m human…

I’m glad to be back. I’m glad to be myself, again. I have a lot to say, a lot to share, and I’ve found my voice again. I can’t wait to walk this life with you!!

A new season has begun. 417614_10150596051541806_1618798859_n

Can I just end on one note. If you are reading this…and you don’t feel this way…know that you ARE loved. Whatever you are feeling like you are not…you are. Can I challenge you? Whatever you are feeling like you are not…will you go look at yourself in the mirror and say: I am ( fill in the blank with whatever you are thinking you are not)… I AM enough. I AM a good mom. I AM smart. I AM peaceful. I AM joyful. I AM loved. You ARE!

Journey to 1/2 Marathon: 11/26

Posted on by rootedmama

Well, since setting my goal for running a 1/2 Marathon in March. . . So far, I haven’t made any progress. I went running one day. For 3 minutes. I decided that I can.not. give up on myself.

The last time I proved to myself that I could do hard things was about 7 years ago.

Then, it was a mental obstacle. Once you get past the mental obstacle- your body can do hard things.

This time, I’ve been much more stagnant. I know that I can push past the mental obstacles of running, but now I’m worried about being able to overcome running long-distances, physically.

One thing I will say, is that I have been closing my rings more often. My jobs keeps me active. Now, I just need to add in cross-training and walking/running into my daily schedule.

Car Convos

Posted on by rootedmama

When my oldest son started PreK4, it was the first time that he was at a school where I would not also be there.

It was harder on me than it was on him.

By this time, our bedtime routine was also getting harder. Making sure that I tucked in both boys, and listen to their stories from the day…or whatever they wanted to tell me…on top of bathtime, and brushing teeth…made for a verrry long bedtime routine. So, I was looking for ways to make our routine shorter. I started singing to them and stopped asking about their day at bedtime…and started asking about their day in the car.

For 2-3 years, it got increasingly harder to get my oldest to talk to me…about anything. This little 4-7 year old.

Then, I remembered an article I had read a couple of years before.

It talked about instead of asking “How was your day? What did you learn today?”

To ask this list of other questions.

So…I did that. For months, it felt like pulling teeth, getting him to talk to me.

He is a car rider, so every day, when he got in the car, I’d ask him “What was your favorite part of your day?”

Then, one day…I purposefully didn’t ask. He would screech, cry, not want to answer…so, one day…I just let it be…

(In a whiny voice) “Mom. You forgot to ask me about my day!”

We were half way home.

“No, son. Every day, you get upset with me when I ask…so, today I decided to take a break. Do you want to tell me about your day?”

“Yes”

“Ok. What was your favorite part of your day?”

That day unlocked a little piece of his heart.

He needed to know that I cared about his day, and he had grown accustomed to me asking.

So, for three years, every day, in the car, I’d ask. Some days, I’d get an answer. Some days, I’d get the dreaded screeches and whining. But, most days our car convos would branch into other things he would want to talk to me about.

Then we moved schools. And that felt like another unlocking moment. He loved where he was at, and he was a completely different kid.

Now, I greet him and his brother, every afternoon with “What was your favorite part of today?”

They love it. It’s something that has brought them closer. And it even gets them talking about their day to each other…

I just have to make sure they have a snack, first….because, you know….#hangry runs in the family.