Have you ever been waiting? Waiting on a promise of God? You can see right behind you, the old is gone, yet, in the same breadth, the new is just out of reach. Your fingertips are touching it, but you can’t quite grasp it, yet. Oh, that place is such a hard place to be.
In Isaiah 43, the Bible says: “Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. see! I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams In the wasteland.” ( v 18-19).
“I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. Review the past for me, let us argue the matter together; state the case for your innocence.”
We hold onto the past, and still hold onto hope for the future. But..we can’t have both. We must come to God with open hands and say: Father, I lay down who I was. I have sinned. I repent, and I choose to walk with you. I choose your ways over my ways, Lord.
This week, thank God for who He is. Thank Him that He blots out your transgressions. Thank Him that He remembers your sin no more.
Repent to Him. Repent for the ways you have sinned, known and unknown. Lay it all down at his feet, with open hands. Don’t pick it back up. He’s already forgiven you. And if you do pick it back up…because we’re human. Repent again, and put it right back down.
Now, look up. Look for the new things He is doing. When you see it, jot it down in your journal. Or save it on your phone to jot it down later.
Talk with Him about it: God, give me wisdom. What is my role in your plan?
Thank Him, again.
Thank you God that your promises are true. Thank you, God that you are faithful.
It’s almost December. Like, tomorrow. I really truly want to be in the Holiday spirit, but today. . . I’m not feeling it.
My husband is out of town.
I miss my family.
I miss my friends.
We’ve had 6 different illnesses run through the family in one month, and it’s looking like this winter is going to be a rough one.
And, I’m just weary from waiting on God. I’ve been processing this waiting period, and it just doesn’t make sense. Maybe it never will?
So, you know what? I’m just going to let myself feel all the feels.
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned in life, it’s this: Feel All the Feels.
Let yourself think about the frustrating things. Be sad that life doesn’t look the way you planned. Feel hopeful for the future. Laugh at the funny things in life, and allow yourself to have fun. Feel happy, when you find joy in something. . .
It’s when you hold those things back, that you’re not being your true self.
And, just remember to not camp out in one space for too long. If you’re mad or angry for too long, you run the risk of only thinking negative. And, if you pretend to be happy, when you’re not- and you shove those feelings down. . . They’ll find a way out.
That doesn’t mean you have to display every emotion, publicly.
But, allow yourself, and love yourself enough, to process those feelings, privately- or with a trusted person!
If you’re also not feeling the Holiday spirit, today. . . I’m sending you love. Know that you’re not alone. This world needs you.
Wow. Have you ever looked back on a time in your life…a time where you thought you were happy. You thought things were the way you were wanting to live, and even though you thought you wanted to live that way…things just didn’t feel right…Only to come out of that season and think…Man, I was not happy. There was a lot going on there. Those aren’t the things I wanted. That’s not how I wanted to live. I am coming out of one of those seasons.
I needed it though. Without trial, we don’t appreciate the things in life that we have. We don’t grow. We just stay right where we are. And sometimes, it’s ok to be content with where we are. And it’s also great to want more out of life. To do more. To be more.
I found myself waking up each day. Going to work. Picking up my kids. Coming home. Repeat. Day.After.Day. Sometimes, routine like that is great. That’s where you should be…but for me…I wasn’t living. I didn’t make time for myself. And it wore me down. I was doing for others…but not doing for myself. And we have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others. (this is where I am always reminded of the flight attendant coming over the intercom, explaining that in case of emergency to place your breathing contraption on before you can help others.)
I found myself slowly depending on God more and more. He brought me to a point where I needed to depend on Him to live. He showed me that His love is what fills me up. That I can get my joy from Him.
And now, I feel like I am living more in the present. I look forward to living life. I have more joy. Some days I fall flat on my face. And my savior is there to pick me up. I’d rather it be some days…than most days. I’d rather depend on Jesus most days. I try for all days, but I’m human…
I’m glad to be back. I’m glad to be myself, again. I have a lot to say, a lot to share, and I’ve found my voice again. I can’t wait to walk this life with you!!
A new season has begun.
Can I just end on one note. If you are reading this…and you don’t feel this way…know that you ARE loved. Whatever you are feeling like you are not…you are. Can I challenge you? Whatever you are feeling like you are not…will you go look at yourself in the mirror and say: I am ( fill in the blank with whatever you are thinking you are not)… I AM enough. I AM a good mom. I AM smart. I AM peaceful. I AM joyful. I AM loved. You ARE!
Giving God control is one of the hardest things to do.
By human nature…we all want to have control over our circumstances in life.
Add any kind of anxiety…and multiply that by ten.
When I have a situation that I am hoping will change…it usually doesn’t happen as quickly as I would like. So, I get impatient. I start grasping at everything, and try to control the situation. And…9x out of 10...I only make matters worse.
*just end up making myself more anxious..leaving no space for peace.
*causing problems in my relationships…often times, unaware that I’ve even done so.
* put my promises on hold.
This week, I had a light bulb moment.
As I was going through devotionals in my you version bible app, and towards the end of the week, I gave up a few things.
I’m no expert on fasting. In fact..I’m quite the novice.
But, I felt led to give up these things for certain periods of time during the end of the week.
And just today, I gained some clarity on something I was seeking wisdom for.
But first, I had to give up control. And that was extremely hard to do.
You have to go through your own journey with giving God control…but, I love to forward resources that have helped me.
In the comments, I’ll leave links to the Bible devotionals that I went through this week. I’m not really tech savvy, so if I can’t get it to work…I’ll post the names of the devotionals and the authors..and hopefully that’ll make it easier.
They are really great. I hope you are blessed by them.
This November has been the most oddly busy season. With our kids getting sick every couple of weeks, it’s been harder to focus on writing. That being said…I still want to share the things I’ve been grateful for during this season!
Day 9: My new devotional: Jesus Calling Family Devotional
Day 10: One of my favorite traditions is actually one of our weekly traditions. Friday is Donut for Breakfast and Pizza/Movie Night. It’s something we look forward to every week!
Day 11: Knife Throwing. Look it up!
Day 12: The actual color: purple.
Day 13: Summer. I look forward to summer hikes, swimming, and more free time.
Day 14: The crisp coolness of the fall air.
Day 15: My husband and kids- and the power of FaceTime.
Day 16: Good tacos!!
Day 17: Learning and training opportunities
Day 18: fun times with friends!
Day 19: I’m grateful to be home!
Day 20: Sleep. Allowing myself to rest and recoup when my body needs it.