Trusting God is Hard

Sometimes, trusting God is hard. For a while now, I’ve been waiting on God in some key areas of my life. And, it feels like He is ignoring me. Deep desires of my heart. I feel like all I hear is crickets.

If I’m honest, the lack of answers. . . The sitting in waiting. The doing the work, only to get knocked down 15 levels. It has been so painful. The kind of painful that you are at the end of patience for waiting, and into I don’t even care any more, so I’m just going to stop praying and stop drawing near to God.

And that is so much more frustrating. Because, now I feel even further away from who I feel like God has called me to be. So much further away than Him being at the center of my marriage and our family. Further away, from where God has said He called me to. Further away from what He promised. Like, it all feels impossible. No matter which way I look- I don’t see how He is going to answer these prayers. I don’t see how He is going to bring healing.

And with the craziness of this last year- nothing makes sense right now. Absolutely nothing.

I was so sure that if x,y,z would happen, then God would x,y,z in our lives.

I do feel like He keeps sending me little reminders of His perfect timing, but right now- it is so hard to keep the faith that He will turn things around.

All of this has been weighing heavily on my heart.

And if you are out there reading this, just know:

It’s ok to be feel this way while you are in the waiting. Lay it all out to God- Trust me, He can handle it.

Following God doesn’t all of a sudden make life easier, and sunshine and roses. If you are feeling like it’s you and you aren’t worthy. That’s not true. You are so worthy. God loves you through the trials. Even if it feel like you aren’t alone, and you don’t want to pray about it any more. He is right there with you, waiting on you! He is patient.

Whatever it is you are waiting on- whatever storm you are walking through. There’s a rainbow on the other side. It’s beautiful. It won’t be stormy forever. When it’s hard, keep take one little step at a time, and He will guide you!

Even when it feels foggy. Even when it feels hard. Even when it feels like life is upside down, and you don’t see how anything will improve. Just keep walking. He is faithful.

Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

I want to be very clear- I’m not a mental health professional.

I am; however, someone who has continually worked through anxiety and depression.

Because of my journey with anxiety and depression, I’m a big believer in sharing experiences. I believe that sharing experiences can be a source of healing to the person “going through it”. In my opinion, it can help to hear stories from those who have gone before you. I know, because it’s one of the things that helped me on my journey.

One of the many sayings I’ve heard over and over was: I wish I knew, then, that other people went through x,y,z.

Thankfully, talking about Mental Health is becoming more and more accepted.

This month, I’d like to share and re-share my journey.

I’d love to share resources.

I’d love to share hope.

If you or someone you know battles with Mental Health, know that you are loved. You are not alone.

Please visit https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/find-help/ if you need resources.

21 Days of Christmas: Day 1

The theme of 21 Days of Christmas is kindness. I believe at the root of kindness is hope and love. We will start with showing ourselves kindness!!

This weekend, my kids have been with my in-laws. Today, I was going to take a day to get it all done. Did that happen? No.

I didn’t change out of my pajamas today. I lounged around, watched Christmas movies, and my husband slept. All.day. We both needed a day of complete rest.

To be honest, with traveling and COVID, we haven’t had many days without any of our kids. I didn’t realize just how worn out we were.

When you are that worn out. It is super hard to pour into others. It’s hard to show love and kindness, when you are running on empty.

So, for day 1: Take time for yourself. Get rejuvenated and refreshed, as best you can with the resources you have.

Take a nap. Read a book. Go on a walk. Do nothing. Whatever it is for you. Do it. Because, you can’t show others love and kindness well, unless you are doing it for yourself first.

21 Days of Christmas

This year has been hard, there’s no doubt about that. There’s been hardship for practically everyone this year. Fighting a world pandemic. An intense election. Much needed fight for social justice.

So much division.

I feel like this year was inevitable.

Over the past 10 years, it has seemed that each passing year there’s been more anger, more division in the US and across the world. It feels as though this year was the eruption point. The lava has been building for years, and now it’s seems everyone is shouting and not many are listening and doing, and frankly showing love to others.

What if we took the next 21 days, and created a new habit to love others when we disagree, even if we don’t want to.

Ya’ll. This is hard. Yet, I know that if we dig deep, find it within ourselves to say “enough is enough”, we can make a greater change and impact in our social circles. When we do that, I know it’ll make a big difference.

Now, I know I’m writing and sharing this later than I planned. The beauty is. . .we can take 21 days of Christmas and extend that into 2021 when most people feel the hope of Christmas leading up to Christmas Day, and the “magic” fades away. Let’s take that “magic” and keep spreading into the new year and beyond.

December!!!

I’m not really sure how we are already over a week into December. . . And, I just wanted to send well wishes out to you all!! I hope that you are receiving joy, hope, and love. That you see light in the world.

It seems like there are a lot of people who need to feel the love.

A lot of people going through tough times.

And, I know, I know- that’s honestly been the theme of 2020. It’s been a tough year for all.

Through these types of seasons- It’s easy to get stuck inside our own thoughts and our own problems. What if we saw the opportunity in this last month, of this ridiculously hard year to spend each day, of the rest of the year gifting love, compassion, and kindness.

And then, carried it over into next year!

That’s what this season is about!

It takes 21 days to make a habit. So. Let’s take 21 days of Christmas, and give the gift of love, compassion, and kindness. Let’s show up, and come together. Let’s show up, and show the people in our world love.

Stay tuned.