The older I get, the more I learn about myself. Like, I need structure, but also a freeing amount of flexibility.
Enough structure to not feel suffocated, and also enough flexibility to not live in utter chaos.
And sometimes, in life. . . Everything feels like utter chaos. No matter how much of a balance or idea of “the plan” that I think I have in control.
And it’s in that moment, that I realize whom my life depends on. That I need God, because if I do not have Him, anxiety and fear would control the type of life I live.
It’s amidst the chaotic moments in life that I’m reminded to stay connected to Him- day-in-and-day-out. Having a solid foundation in Him when life gets rocky, it’s what keeps me connected, grounded, and He’s what keeps me going. I would completely fall apart if it wasn’t for Him!
I’ve spent a lot of time, these last few years just waiting. Waiting on God.
In some instances, in the waiting, I have felt like I couldn’t trust God any more. I have felt hurt. I have felt left behind. I’ve even been plain mad at God. And this past week, I have felt the most anxious I have felt in a very long time.
A lot of things don’t make sense.
I can’t even count any more, how many times, since 2020 that I’ve said: Life just doesn’t make sense right now.
But there are some things, that I am confident of:
* I’m confident that whatever you’re going through, you are not alone and you are loved. There are sooo many people out there sharing their stories. They share their stories, for many reasons. Know that one of those reasons, are so that you and I know that we are not in this life and journey alone. And you are loved. There is a tribe out there that loves you, even if you haven’t found them yet. There is a person out there that loves you more than anyone ever could. And He will leave the 99 to come find you!
*I’m confident that while the waiting sucks, there’s a purpose. And then waiting is painful sometimes, but God can use that pain. He can use that pain to help other people. You can (although not always) use what comes from that pain, on the other side of that pain, and sometimes even in that pain to be the hands and feet of Jesus.
*This one is hard for me to say, right now…but, I know it as a truth- because God’s word is true, and because I’ve seen Him work over and over and over again. I’ve seen it happen in my life, in my friends’ lives, and in complete stranger’s lives. All of that to say: God’s plan and timing is perfect. It’s better than anything you or I could ever dream. And, while I know this to be true…it’s a truth that I’m struggling to hold onto, at this moment.
Honestly, I could keep going on. But, please know, this last week of the year…If you are still waiting on God for His perfect timing, if you are feeling alone, if the pain is too much to bare, right now. He is the light in the dark. He loves you more than you could imagine. I know it’s hard, right now…but, keep holding on!
Today is Christmas Eve-Eve. And, as I look back in this advent season I’m reflective of so many things.
Waiting is hard.
How we wait is hard.
And, sometimes the very best way we can work through that hard is in how we show up.
This year, I found that the best way I can be the hands and feet of Jesus is in how I show up with those in my tribe.
How I show up in the yearly traditions, in the unplanned freezing cold days, in the new traditions.
This year, and into the next season- take the time to reflect on how you can show up with connectedness. Not only in big celebrations, but in the day-to-day and in the pivot moments.
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