Relationships

I could write a novel on just how bad I am at relationships. But. . .there is good news. I’m sure there are some out there reading this. . .thinking. . . “I am right there with you. I am no good at relationships”.

The good news is that:

*You don’t have to always be where you are. You’re not a tree, if you don’t like where you are, then move. Meaning. . .you may not be great at relationships right now, but you can be.

*You don’t have to have a ton of friends to be good at relationships. You don’t even have to have a ton of people. When we love the people we are entrusted to; whether that be a greeter at Walmart, the person driving next to us on the road, or people in our daily lives, the impact of Jesus on them can far exceed us trying to make a million friends on social media.

*You don’t have to feel the pressure to get it right, every time. We are human. We are going to mess up. There is room for grace, repentance, and forgiveness.

All we have to do is say “yes” to the very next thing in front of us. Say “yes” to working on what God has called you to. Say “yes” to work on that character trait you feel like you just don’t have down quite yet. Say “less of me and more of You, Jesus”. Say “yes” to taking our pain in relationships, only to Jesus. Little by little. . .all of the things we work on become noticeable. People will recognize it. Our efforts become recognized. Trust builds. Or builds, again.

I firmly believe that when we work on ourselves, first, that overflows into our relationships. When we work on ourselves, first, it changes the dynamic of our relationships and our situations.

If you don’t know how to do that. . .take a look around you. You are most like the 5 people you are around on a daily basis. Surround yourself with 5 people that have those things that you want to work on down. Learn from them. Observe how they handle the situations you struggle with. Use that or adapt it to fit you (in a healthy way). We want to learn from them, while still remaining true to who we are.

And. . .by the way. . .this should be an ongoing process. We should strive for a growth mindset, daily. There will times where we get stuck, and that’s ok. That’s why we surround ourselves with community. Iron sharpens iron.

One Thing: Education/self development

Background:

After exiting teaching full time, shifting to part-time teaching, and entering the Network Marketing business…I was immersed in self-development.right.when.I.needed.it.

My heart was vulnerable. I was open to change. I dove in.

There are road blocks, every now and again…but you take the time to do the heart work, and move forward.

So, what did the process look like?

*Again, this is an area I have yet to fully develop, or set a solid foundation for. So, it’s a growth area.

* I went to (physically and virtually) all the trainings. I read all the books. I took all the notes.

*I prayed, read my bible. And the funny thing is, all the self-development crossed over with my stages I was walking with Jesus.

* Do the heart work.

* take all the notes (usually in the book)

* Now that I have to rely on making myself step up to the plate, my two ways of diving in to education and self-development: reading and listening to podcasts. Because that’s easiest at the moment.

Why do I invest in self-development, you might ask?

Easy. Growth. If I don’t have a growth mindset, I’ll be stuck right where I am. I don’t want to always be stuck right where I am. I always want to be moving forward. Every now and again, I get in a comfy spot…but it doesn’t usually last long…and when I start getting restless…I dive back in!

Why do I invest my time in education and what do I mean by education?

By education, I just mean that I take the time to read or find another way to learn about something I am passionate about.

My favorite college professor taught me what it means to be a lifelong learner. So, that love of learning has spilled over into my life after college. So, I’m trying to always learn about something:

-parenting

-how to be a follower of Jesus

-what I want my role as a mom and wife to look like

-what kind of friend I want to be

-anything science

-history, too

-teaching and education

-health and wellness/ exercise and nutrition

-photography

-Psychology and Mental Health

So, I find books, podcasts and articles over these topics and learn what I can about them.

Again…just one thing at a time.

You kind of just naturally learn about the things you are currently interested in. If you don’t have an interest in something, today, that you did yesterday, put that book down. You’ll come back to it, and if you don’t that’s ok! Pick a book (or article, or documentary, or podcast…you get the picture) that you’re excited to learn about today.