Relationship with God Changes

Posted on by rootedmama

In the past, I’ve shared about my relationship with God, and what I’ve learned during that season.

However, for quite a while…I’ve stepped away from that.

I got to a point, where I realized a few things:

*I needed to do some heart work. Which, to be honest, will always be a thing…but I really needed to do some processing, working and healing.

*I really needed to sit and wait.

* I was completely at a loss on where my relationship with God was, and how that affected my relationship with others. Especially with my husband and kids. I truly felt lost…but not in the same way I felt lost before I found Jesus. More of a wait- “what’s happening” kind of moment. It was, honestly, a weird place to be in.

At this point..I’m still figuring things out…I’m relearning what my relationship with God looks like…and just still processing the last several years, and how change looks.

Right now, what I really want to share with everyone is:

* God is love and his promises are true- even when we can’t see it.

* Whatever you’re going through, whatever you’re feeling towards God- it’s ok!

* Although change happens, and change in my relationship with God and others happens…God is and always will be the same.

* For me: Being a Follower of Jesus, nurturing a relationship with God, loving others (and myself) and building relationship with others, and being the hands and feet of Jesus outside of the four walls of “Church” is what is most important.

*If your relationship with God doesn’t look like it used to. That’s ok. Even our relationship with God ebbs and flows. And just like our relationships with friends and family mature, so does our relationship with Him! So, change needs to happen on our end!

* My hope is that you know that you are loved beyond all measure by someone who can love you more deeply and unconditionally than any other, ever!

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Relationship with God Changes

Posted on by rootedmama

In the past, I’ve shared about my relationship with God, and what I’ve learned during that season.

However, for quite a while…I’ve stepped away from that.

I got to a point, where I realized a few things:

*I needed to do some heart work. Which, to be honest, will always be a thing…but I really needed to do some processing, working and healing.

*I really needed to sit and wait.

* I was completely at a loss on where my relationship with God was, and how that affected my relationship with others. Especially with my husband and kids. I truly felt lost…but not in the same way I felt lost before I found Jesus. More of a wait- “what’s happening” kind of moment. It was, honestly, a weird place to be in.

At this point..I’m still figuring things out…I’m relearning what my relationship with God looks like…and just still processing the last several years, and how change looks.

Right now, what I really want to share with everyone is:

* God is love and his promises are true- even when we can’t see it.

* Whatever you’re going through, whatever you’re feeling towards God- it’s ok!

* Although change happens, and change in my relationship with God and others happens…God is and always will be the same.

* For me: Being a Follower of Jesus, nurturing a relationship with God, loving others (and myself) and building relationship with others, and being the hands and feet of Jesus outside of the four walls of “Church” is what is most important.

*If your relationship with God doesn’t look like it used to. That’s ok. Even our relationship with God ebbs and flows. And just like our relationships with friends and family mature, so does our relationship with Him! So, change needs to happen on our end!

* My hope is that you know that you are loved beyond all measure by someone who can love you more deeply and unconditionally than any other, ever!

Change is Needed

Posted on by rootedmama

There has been a lot going on the last two years. So. Much.

I already knew that we needed a change, as a society.

However, the last two years. . . It has really opened my eyes to just HOW MUCH change we need.

When I think of all the things that need to change. I am reminded that it starts on an individual level. One person makes changes in their lives, and then those changes have a ripple effect on the people their are closest to in their lives, and so on.

If you’re eyes are just opening to the fact their needs to be a monumental shift in America.

Start small.

Start with one small thing that you can implement in your life.

Think about the things you are watching, reading, how much time are you spending on social media? Think about the places you are spending your money. What are you putting your time and energy into?

Then, hone in on just one thing to change. Maybe, you and your family cut back on tv time, or the type of tv you’ve been watching. Maybe you shift the kind of music you’ve been listening to.

Change it. Set a goal for one day, for one week, for one month, for one year.

If you mess up. DO. NOT. Be. Hard.On.Yourself. Do not. DO not beat your self up. Give your self grace. Dust yourself off, and get back up, and keep at it.

I can’t tell you those things that you need to change. You know what’s best for yourself and your family.

I can give ideas and resources, and that’s what I’ll be here for.

Change is hard. You may see some small improvements. You may see no improvements. You and your family may take 1 step forward, just to get 10 steps backwards.

AND- you may come out of a season. . . And, all of a sudden. You’ll see it. The work you and your family has done to make changes. You’ll see the fruit. It’ll be beautiful. It’ll be worth it.

Let’s get ready for change.

One Thing: Connect

Posted on by rootedmama

Social Anxiety.

“The fear of being nervous or uncomfortable in social settings” (webmd.com)

Connecting with other people is so hard for me. And, although I was “diagnosed” with social anxiety. I’ve come to the point where I’m not claiming it. I’m not going to let that define who I am, in the sense that it stops me from living the life I want to live, and it stops me from being the person I was designed to be. It’s not happening.

What is happening, is I’m using that to help me grow. I’m using that to connect with other people who have walked the same or similar path.

I’m thankful for Network Marketing. There’s one company in particular that threw me into Personal Development like no other. If it weren’t for that company, at that time, I wouldn’t have made the progress I’ve made.

I’m thankful for my mom. She helped me say “no” to solutions that were not beneficial for me, and frankly that sent me on a path of creative solutions- teaching me to be resourceful.

I’m thankful for my loving God. For the healing He provides.

Let me set the record straight. Healing comes from many different ways, and healing is different for each person. And for many, if not most, healing is a daily habit- not a once and for all.

Side note: 3 years ago, I made a vision board. One of my areas of growth, that I wanted was deeper friendship. I have a very similar picture to the one in this post pasted on my vision board. 3 years later, I’ve seen how that vision has come to pass in many different ways.

Background:

Let’s just paint the picture, real quick, and get a little vulnerable.

I was the little girl who was afraid of light switches. The kid/teenager who timed it right, on most occasions, that other girls/women didn’t see the stall I walked into in public restrooms. I waited in the public restroom for the other girls and women to finish their business, wash their hands, and walk out of the bathroom before I exited the stall. (I’m sure more people saw me than I realized, but I tried really hard to time it just right). Don’t ask me why I did these things. I have no idea. Haha. I’m sure it relates to the fear of social settings, and a need for control of that fear?

I was the teenager who had panic attacks in places like the fair and IKEA. Sweaty, itchy, swelling hands. Heart racing. Hard to catch your breath, panic attacks.

Got the picture?

It affected me in one way or another on a daily basis.

It wasn’t until I started talking about most of these things with my husband (then boyfriend), that I realized these things are not “normal” to all people. (Yikes).

Side note: Normal is a relative term. I’m thoroughly aware that most people have something they struggle with. Anxiety and social anxiety are common. When the anxiety is high, and affects your daily functional level- is not typical of people functioning in their healthy state.

To this day, I still have a hard time looking people in the eye when I am mad, frustrated, angry, or uncomfortable.

Most of the struggles that I have had due to “social anxiety”, I have overcome or at least improved upon.

I’ve gotten much better in many of these areas. I’ve grown so much, and am proud of that growth. I’ve worked hard and overcome a lot for it.

Yet, connecting with people, is still an area that I have to continually work at, process, and improve on, and it feels hard and uncomfortable most days.

So what has the process been for this?

* I don’t think that I really did much growing in my high school and early college years. I just survived the anxiety and avoided uncomfortable situations to the best of my ability.

* Taking classes in college that pushed my limits, helped.

* After I hit my “rock bottom” with anxiety and depression, I started going to therapy. This helped me a ton.

*Pray. Read my Bible. Pray. Bible study. Pray. Go to Church. Pray. Read more in my bible. Pray. Go to all on the conferences at church available, the classes too. Did I mention pray?

* Shortly and also overlapping this time, I was with a network marketing company that valued personal development. All the time spent in personal development, giving my life to Jesus, classes at church, and discipleship school….my friends and family…all contributed to me moving past the debilitating part of social anxiety- into growth and standing firm into who I was made to be.

* I went through a time where answering phone calls, text messages, and emails, immediately, was too much. So, I answered when I could…and sometimes not at all- mainly because the notifications drove me crazy, so I would open, read, and then forget to respond until days/weeks later…or I would just not remember at all.

* Eventually, I came out of all of that, began enjoying hanging out, calling and texting, again.

* Creating a weekly, and then a daily habit of building relationships with my family and friends. If I’m not careful, I could accidentally go weeks to months, before I see the people closest to me, outside of my husband and kids. I can very easily get stuck in a routine of dropping kids and hubby off at work, being at home, and daily pick ups. So, I make a habit out of connecting with other people, in some way. Making connections and building relationships has easily gone from something I dread (you know the part where you have to make yourself go be around people) to something I thoroughly enjoy.

My process most likely won’t work the same for you as it did for me. All the same, if I did exactly what you did..it won’t work for me.

We were all designed differently.

The most important part, is I took One Thing at a time. Slow steps. When I took on too much, I had set backs and started over again.

The best thing you can do is figure out what One Thing you can do.

Is there anything you can do to connect with other people right now?

Make a list of the areas within relationships that you want to grow. Start with one.

What’s the One Thing you can do? Write it down. Add it to your daily list. Check it off once a week. Once a week will become 2,3,4,5,6x…and then a daily habit. Sometimes, it’ll take months just to make that one thing a daily habit.

Seriously.

Growth doesn’t happen over night. You may not even see it until years later…

It takes a lot of work to get past any struggles related to connecting with people, but once you do….you meet some pretty amazing people.

Relationships

Posted on by rootedmama

I could write a novel on just how bad I am at relationships. But. . .there is good news. I’m sure there are some out there reading this. . .thinking. . . “I am right there with you. I am no good at relationships”.

The good news is that:

*You don’t have to always be where you are. You’re not a tree, if you don’t like where you are, then move. Meaning. . .you may not be great at relationships right now, but you can be.

*You don’t have to have a ton of friends to be good at relationships. You don’t even have to have a ton of people. When we love the people we are entrusted to; whether that be a greeter at Walmart, the person driving next to us on the road, or people in our daily lives, the impact of Jesus on them can far exceed us trying to make a million friends on social media.

*You don’t have to feel the pressure to get it right, every time. We are human. We are going to mess up. There is room for grace, repentance, and forgiveness.

All we have to do is say “yes” to the very next thing in front of us. Say “yes” to working on what God has called you to. Say “yes” to work on that character trait you feel like you just don’t have down quite yet. Say “less of me and more of You, Jesus”. Say “yes” to taking our pain in relationships, only to Jesus. Little by little. . .all of the things we work on become noticeable. People will recognize it. Our efforts become recognized. Trust builds. Or builds, again.

I firmly believe that when we work on ourselves, first, that overflows into our relationships. When we work on ourselves, first, it changes the dynamic of our relationships and our situations.

If you don’t know how to do that. . .take a look around you. You are most like the 5 people you are around on a daily basis. Surround yourself with 5 people that have those things that you want to work on down. Learn from them. Observe how they handle the situations you struggle with. Use that or adapt it to fit you (in a healthy way). We want to learn from them, while still remaining true to who we are.

And. . .by the way. . .this should be an ongoing process. We should strive for a growth mindset, daily. There will times where we get stuck, and that’s ok. That’s why we surround ourselves with community. Iron sharpens iron.

The Pain You’re Feeling

Posted on by rootedmama

11 years ago, this girl had NO IDEA that the pain she was going to walk through over the next few months and years….it would be hard. It would be dark. It would affect her relationship with her fiancé. It would affect her future pregnancies. It would take time to heal herself, and her future marriage.

If you have lost a baby- no matter how long you knew you were pregnant… your pain is real. I have no words for the hurt and pain you are feeling, because although I have been there…your story is different than mine.

If you’ve been feeling the hurt and the pain for days, weeks, months, years…yes, even after you’ve welcomed other children into the world…know that you are not alone.

I can’t promise anything to you. I can’t promise you a rainbow baby. I can’t promise the hurt will never go away. I can’t promise that around certain dates your mood won’t be affected.

But there is one who is a promise keeper. And it may not feel like it now, but He is sitting with you through your pain.

And if you allow it…the pain you are going through can allow you to grow, heal, and see that the days that were associated with deep grief and hurt…new days come and they can be associated with joy, love, and peace.

Self-care day 8 and 9

Posted on by rootedmama

We spent a portion of this weekend catching up on cleaning.

I don’t know about anyone else…but, this is a form of self-care for me. Having everything clean and tidied up clears my brain and allows me to relax.

When things are cluttered, I feel anxious. My thoughts can’t stop racing on all the things that need to get done…

But…when everything is clean…I feel more peaceful. I feel more calm. I feel like I can operate from a place of peace and calm. I have found that my outer environment deeply affects my inner environment. And, often times what’s going on in my outer environment can be a reflection of what’s going on, on the inside and vice verse.

I also started reading book this weekend. I’ve loved taking moments here in there to a) get lost in a story, and b) set an example for my kids.

Right now, we have a “Summer Rules” paper up on the fridge. My kids have a list of things they have to do, before they can have tablet or tv time.

Some of them are self-care. Some of them are prepping us to get into our school season. One of the rules is reading for 20 minutes. Kids, they pay attention to what we are doing, as adults. Are we holding ourselves to the same standards?! Are we making ourselves have some self-care, are we making ourselves read and write everyday? Are we spending time cleaning and taking care of our environment?

It’s a lot easier to do what we say, when our actions and our words match up.

So, I’m thankful for creating these habits of self-care, so that I can have the energy to do the things I say my kids should be doing.

One Thing: Connect

Posted on by rootedmama

Social Anxiety.

“The fear of being nervous or uncomfortable in social settings” (webmd.com)

Connecting with other people is so hard for me. And, although I was “diagnosed” with social anxiety. I’ve come to the point where I’m not claiming it. I’m not going to let that define who I am, in the sense that it stops me from living the life I want to live, and it stops me from being the person I was designed to be. It’s not happening.

What is happening, is I’m using that to help me grow. I’m using that to connect with other people who have walked the same or similar path.

I’m thankful for Network Marketing. There’s one company in particular that threw me into Personal Development like no other. If it weren’t for that company, at that time, I wouldn’t have made the progress I’ve made.

I’m thankful for my mom. She helped me say “no” to solutions that were not beneficial for me, and frankly that sent me on a path of creative solutions- teaching me to be resourceful.

I’m thankful for my loving God. For the healing He provides.

Let me set the record straight. Healing comes from many different ways, and healing is different for each person. And for many, if not most, healing is a daily habit- not a once and for all.

Side note: 3 years ago, I made a vision board. One of my areas of growth, that I wanted was deeper friendship. I have a very similar picture to the one in this post pasted on my vision board. 3 years later, I’ve seen how that vision has come to pass in many different ways.

Background:

Let’s just paint the picture, real quick, and get a little vulnerable.

I was the little girl who was afraid of light switches. The kid/teenager who timed it right, on most occasions, that other girls/women didn’t see the stall I walked into in public restrooms. I waited in the public restroom for the other girls and women to finish their business, wash their hands, and walk out of the bathroom before I exited the stall. (I’m sure more people saw me than I realized, but I tried really hard to time it just right). Don’t ask me why I did these things. I have no idea. Haha. I’m sure it relates to the fear of social settings, and a need for control of that fear?

I was the teenager who had panic attacks in places like the fair and IKEA. Sweaty, itchy, swelling hands. Heart racing. Hard to catch your breath, panic attacks.

Got the picture?

It affected me in one way or another on a daily basis.

It wasn’t until I started talking about most of these things with my husband (then boyfriend), that I realized these things are not “normal” to all people. (Yikes).

Side note: Normal is a relative term. I’m thoroughly aware that most people have something they struggle with. Anxiety and social anxiety are common. When the anxiety is high, and affects your daily functional level- is not typical of people functioning in their healthy state.

To this day, I still have a hard time looking people in the eye when I am mad, frustrated, angry, or uncomfortable.

Most of the struggles that I have had due to “social anxiety”, I have overcome or at least improved upon.

I’ve gotten much better in many of these areas. I’ve grown so much, and am proud of that growth. I’ve worked hard and overcome a lot for it.

Yet, connecting with people, is still an area that I have to continually work at, process, and improve on, and it feels hard and uncomfortable most days.

So what has the process been for this?

* I don’t think that I really did much growing in my high school and early college years. I just survived the anxiety and avoided uncomfortable situations to the best of my ability.

* Taking classes in college that pushed my limits, helped.

* After I hit my “rock bottom” with anxiety and depression, I started going to therapy. This helped me a ton.

*Pray. Read my Bible. Pray. Bible study. Pray. Go to Church. Pray. Read more in my bible. Pray. Go to all on the conferences at church available, the classes too. Did I mention pray?

* Shortly and also overlapping this time, I was with a network marketing company that valued personal development. All the time spent in personal development, giving my life to Jesus, classes at church, and discipleship school….my friends and family…all contributed to me moving past the debilitating part of social anxiety- into growth and standing firm into who I was made to be.

* I went through a time where answering phone calls, text messages, and emails, immediately, was too much. So, I answered when I could…and sometimes not at all- mainly because the notifications drove me crazy, so I would open, read, and then forget to respond until days/weeks later…or I would just not remember at all.

* Eventually, I came out of all of that, began enjoying hanging out, calling and texting, again.

* Creating a weekly, and then a daily habit of building relationships with my family and friends. If I’m not careful, I could accidentally go weeks to months, before I see the people closest to me, outside of my husband and kids. I can very easily get stuck in a routine of dropping kids and hubby off at work, being at home, and daily pick ups. So, I make a habit out of connecting with other people, in some way. Making connections and building relationships has easily gone from something I dread (you know the part where you have to make yourself go be around people) to something I thoroughly enjoy.

My process most likely won’t work the same for you as it did for me. All the same, if I did exactly what you did..it won’t work for me.

We were all designed differently.

The most important part, is I took One Thing at a time. Slow steps. When I took on too much, I had set backs and started over again.

The best thing you can do is figure out what One Thing you can do.

Is there anything you can do to connect with other people right now?

Make a list of the areas within relationships that you want to grow. Start with one.

What’s the One Thing you can do? Write it down. Add it to your daily list. Check it off once a week. Once a week will become 2,3,4,5,6x…and then a daily habit. Sometimes, it’ll take months just to make that one thing a daily habit.

Seriously.

Growth doesn’t happen over night. You may not even see it until years later…

It takes a lot of work to get past any struggles related to connecting with people, but once you do….you meet some pretty amazing people.