26 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 23

A couple of days ago, I was feeling the weight of the world. All day, I was feeling like I was not good enough. I needed to sit through the pain, process, yet I could not just get out of my own head.

By the end of the day, my husband was getting ready to teach. And, I decided to take the kids, go get gas, a Dr. Pepper, some Hershey’s Milk Chocolate, and go on a drive.

After we filled up, and left the gas station, I was talking to God, telling Him, it was too much. I hate feeling this way. And, He sent me two songs. At just the right moment, He sent me a song about moving mountains, and a song about being enough.

And, in that moment, I felt heard and known, and seen by Him. And the weight of not feeling like I was enough, lifted.

Today, I’m thankful for these God moments.

Also- please know, that if you’re feeling like it’s too much, or you are not enough. You are. You are loved, you are more than enough, just the way you were created to be.

Perfection

Tonight, my husband and I were talking. We had just gotten back from having supper with my sister and her family, the kids were playing in their room, and we were just chatting on the sofa.

We were talking about the delicious meal my hubby had just made, and I was encouraging him to do something with his skills. Be a chef? Make how-to cooking videos on YouTube? Idk! Something!

And, the conversation took a turn, “I want to make sure I have some good recipes before I did anything like that!” Referring to the YouTube videos. “I mean, I don’t want to do something where ya make the sauce, and just pour in the noodles”. He looked at me, and laughed.

Now, if you know anything about me. . .this story has probably come up at least once:

When my husband and I were dating, in high school, we had a celebration coming up. I can’t remember if it was a 2nd anniversary, a birthday, Valentines, or what. I do remember; however, that I wanted to make him his favorite meal. Fettuccine Alfredo. I was making the alfredo sauce from scratch. And.it.had.to.be.perfect.

Now, up until this time, I think the only thing I’d made for myself was ramen noodles. No following recipes. Nothing. Let’s keep in mind, also, that I was probably 17 or 18, at the time.

So, I go to make his favorite meal. I don’t remember the exact recipe, but I do remember what it stated after making the sauce: add noodles.

Y’all! I took the noodles, straight outta the box- and dumped them in the sauce. And.they.would.not.cook. I did not realize, at the time, that first I needed to cook the noodles in boiling water BEFORE I added the noodles to the sauce.

I lost it. I cried. I was so upset.

We had to go back to the store, and I had to get all the things to make the whole meal, again.

And that’s me in a nutshell. I get this big idea in my head, it has to go perfectly, and when it doesn’t I get really down on myself. I feel like a failure. All the things.

Tonight, I laughed about that story and my husband’s reference to a YouTube video coming out like that it experience. It’s funny. I shake my head and laugh at the memory.

Over the years, I’ve had to lower my expectations. I’ve had to learn how to: just keep it simple and not over do it, to laugh and not take life so seriously, and most importantly to let go of the idea of perfection.

So, going into this Holiday Season- this year of all years. Imagine my 17 year old self making fettuccine Alfredo by putting raw noodles in the sauce. Laugh a little, and remember: it doesn’t have to be perfect. Keep it simple. Make some fun memories.

26 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 15

Last night, we had a Tornado Warning. Severe weather while traveling is one of the things that frightens me the most. I’m beginning to learn, that no matter where you go, no matter what time of year. . .there will always be something weather related that you need to be prepared for.

Being through a few different weather conditions over the past few months, there’s one thing I’m grateful for when it comes to severe weather. Warnings.

I can’t imagine traveling full-time without the technology in severe weather that we have today.

I’m also grateful for my sister and her friends, and that we had a few options for safe places to go.