Self-Care

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I was getting better at this….

“Your homework is to spend at least an hour, a week, doing something for you”. I had just gotten done telling my counselor that I wake up, go to work, eat, sleep, repeat. “Well, that’s no way to live. No wonder why you’re so anxious”.

I was in my first two years of teaching, we just had our second baby, and my husband broke his leg. And, I was barely hanging on by a thread. I had let so many other things take priority…and I had forgotten, not only who I was, but what gave my life joy.

So, after my counselor “gave me homework”….I didn’t really know where to start…I remember asking friends… “What do people do for themselves??” I had no idea what I liked. So, I set out to learn.

My husband would often kick me out of the house, for me time, and I would go try stuff…anything…

Enjoy a dinner by myself and read a book, at Wingstop.

Pedicure.

Meet up with friends.

Go on a run.

Go sit by the river and take pictures.

Go on a drive.

And, on the days that I had the kids by myself, I’d stay up a little bit later and:

Watch a movie or tv show.
Journal.
Spend time in the word, or just listen to worship music.
Bubble Bath.

Switching from a smart phone to a regular phone.


Dictionary.com defines self-care as the practice of taking an active role in one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during times of stress.

So, why is self-care important?!
Well, I can only answer that from a place of personal experience.
When I’m not taking care of myself…I’m not myself. I am more anxious. I get more snippy and frazzled. My body is constantly tense. And, when I’m in that state of mind…I can’t be who I’m made to be as a person, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, society member. I can’t be who I’m made to be for this world.

And lately, I have not been doing what I can to make sure I’m taking care of myself? Honestly, right now it’s just so hard. It’s not as easy. I can’t just go grab a cup of coffee and sit and chat with a friend. Or go grab wingstop and read a book. Or go to a yoga class.

And the self-care that I typically do at home, well…we live in a super small space, and it’s just harder. (Yes…I know that I chose this life..and no…that doesn’t make it any easier).

We are in a major transition period, and I’m finding with each passing day, that I really need to be making time to take care of myself.

It takes 21 days to create a new habit. I really need something to focus on, something steady that I can control. And, for those in that moment..asking that same question I was asking… “What do people do for themselves??” I want to give resources and ideas…because stuff like this sure did help me, when I was first starting out….

So, I’m going to a 90 day self-care challenge.

I’ll post once a day on what self-care I chose, and how I felt at the end of the day.

Talk Soon,

Rooted Mama

Anxiety and self care

Wow. When I wrote this…it was back around Thanksgiving. I remember this one-two week period, distinctively. It was the moment I realized that I really and truly have to shut down, all of the things, so that I may feel all the feels and sort through all of the thoughts. Now that we are 3 months into Corona time, with all of the things that are currently going on in our world. I’ve realized that there are some amazing people out there who don’t know that what they are going through is ok. What you are feeling is ok. You are not alone. If you are someone who lacks the support you need, I’m working on creating a resources page. If your situation is urgent, I implore you…find and seek help in your local community. In the meantime, I hope this reflection of what I wrote back in November is helpful and brings you hope.

Anxiety and Self-care:

Over these last couple of weeks, I felt myself winding up…anxiety wise. I couldn’t figure out what was going on…but I felt like I needed to slow down. So, I did.

I allowed myself to not go full steam ahead.

I allowed myself to slow down and tune in.

If I didn’t feel like writing, I didn’t. In fact, I slowed down to pretty much only my 30 Days of Thankfulness that I was 100% committed to.

I slowed down on house work—to what needed immediate attention…

You know, I have talked about my “5 Daily Things” I started making progress towards, after hearing John Maxwell speak this summer…and for 2 weeks…I didn’t focus on those at all.

And that’s fine. I needed to slow down and figure out what was triggering me.

It took a couple of weeks, and one good night of crying…but I finally figured it out and got all of that anxiety tension released.

I love this article about anxiety and self-care.

We really need to make ourselves, and listening to our bodies a priority.

When we are taking care of ourselves, we are better able to take care of others.

There is room and grace for survival mode.

There is room and grace for missing out on taking care of ourselves. It happens.

But, once we cue in…we can slow down to figure out what’s going on. And what we need to do.

Check out the article. Tell me what you think. I’ve tried all of these tips and agree.

It’s funny, because I used to hate yoga for exercise. It felt slow and awkward. But last year, I tried it for a season and loved it. It was just what I needed..and I’ve been missing it, since I gave it up last summer.

When you think about self care, don’t be surprised if something you used to hate or would never think about doing for you turns into a something you like.

If something crosses your mind to try…try it.

If you’re a mama-or someone who needs self care, but doesn’t have a budget to spend on yourself…don’t worry.

When I started my self-care journey I had to get creative, because we didn’t have the budget for me to go get massages, pedicures, and the like every week.

I’ll share resources on some budget friendly and simple ways to find self-care. As well as, things that are self-care that you may not have thought about. I certainly didn’t.

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What.Just.Happened?

Do you ever have days, and think back….What. Just.Happened?

Today was one of those days.

It started off ok.

Got a little better after church…

And then, went downhill from there.

I don’t even know what happened, except my anxiety kept growing worse and worse.

Every light and sound was over stimulating.

I even missed the mark.

Today, at church, the pastor talked a lot about grace and mercy…and, as I have been laying here, in bed…I read my devotional on YouVerse…and guess what, you guessed it. Giving mercy was the topic of discussion.

I wish that I had read it first thing this morning, though.

Because, even though the anxiety would have been there…maybe, I would have caught on quicker….decompressed quicker, and been able to give my family the grace and mercy quicker.

I’m going to miss the mark. There will be days that my anxiety will go downhill quicker than I can realize, until after its already said and done.

I’ve apologized, and as soon as I realized what was happening…I started the process of calming myself down, and changing my response. That’s all I can do, today.

Thankfully, tomorrow is a new day.

I can avoid as many triggers as I can. Use the tools in my toolbox….

And, we can all start over.

Health and Wellness Journal

Today’s Date: 11/9/2019

Activities: .5 mile walk

Food:

-Breakfast: donuts

-Lunch- fettuccine, corn, peas

-supper- rotisserie chicken, fettuccine, corn, peas

-drinks- mostly cranberry juice, and Gatorade, one cup of coffee with creamer and sugar in the raw

How do I feel? Today, I felt more energized. Especially after my walk.

Areas for growth: walk longer, and at a quicker pace; drink more water

Weight: 173

Non-scale victory:

One Thing: Education/self development

Background:

After exiting teaching full time, shifting to part-time teaching, and entering the Network Marketing business…I was immersed in self-development.right.when.I.needed.it.

My heart was vulnerable. I was open to change. I dove in.

There are road blocks, every now and again…but you take the time to do the heart work, and move forward.

So, what did the process look like?

*Again, this is an area I have yet to fully develop, or set a solid foundation for. So, it’s a growth area.

* I went to (physically and virtually) all the trainings. I read all the books. I took all the notes.

*I prayed, read my bible. And the funny thing is, all the self-development crossed over with my stages I was walking with Jesus.

* Do the heart work.

* take all the notes (usually in the book)

* Now that I have to rely on making myself step up to the plate, my two ways of diving in to education and self-development: reading and listening to podcasts. Because that’s easiest at the moment.

Why do I invest in self-development, you might ask?

Easy. Growth. If I don’t have a growth mindset, I’ll be stuck right where I am. I don’t want to always be stuck right where I am. I always want to be moving forward. Every now and again, I get in a comfy spot…but it doesn’t usually last long…and when I start getting restless…I dive back in!

Why do I invest my time in education and what do I mean by education?

By education, I just mean that I take the time to read or find another way to learn about something I am passionate about.

My favorite college professor taught me what it means to be a lifelong learner. So, that love of learning has spilled over into my life after college. So, I’m trying to always learn about something:

-parenting

-how to be a follower of Jesus

-what I want my role as a mom and wife to look like

-what kind of friend I want to be

-anything science

-history, too

-teaching and education

-health and wellness/ exercise and nutrition

-photography

-Psychology and Mental Health

So, I find books, podcasts and articles over these topics and learn what I can about them.

Again…just one thing at a time.

You kind of just naturally learn about the things you are currently interested in. If you don’t have an interest in something, today, that you did yesterday, put that book down. You’ll come back to it, and if you don’t that’s ok! Pick a book (or article, or documentary, or podcast…you get the picture) that you’re excited to learn about today.

One Thing.

I am a dreamer.

I get an idea- and I dream it up, bigger and bigger, until its this massive idea that is overwhelming.

And then. I freeze.

I freeze from being overwhelmed.

I freeze out of fear.

Have you been there?

It’s…frustrating. It’s terrifying.

My family can not live off of dreams.

I also have faith and hope. I have faith and hope that these big dreams are going to work out. And little by little, they do. But, that BIG, MASSIVE, breakthrough that I am searching for. It hasn’t come to fruition, YET.

I say yet, because my God is big.

He is bigger than I can ever imagine.

I keep putting Him in a box.

And He keeps reminding me that…

1. He doesn’t belong in a box

2. And even if He did- He’s much bigger than a box

I believe that God moves in BIG ways. But, He can’t move, if we don’t have action.

So, when we are overwhelmed with “God, I don’t even know what I am supposed to do anymore?” “What do I do?”

Just do one thing.

What is the ONE thing you can do right now?

What’s the one thing you can do right now- it’s that little thing that will help you breathe easier.

You got it?

Wait, wait, wait. Don’t make it complicated. Quit overthinking it. Don’t let your thoughts run wild…go back to it.

What’s that one thing? Hold on to it. Focus on it. Start it. Complete it. That’s it.

Ready?

Great. Let’s go get it done.

Breathe

Anxiety and depression. The darkness that these two are can be hard to explain to someone who hasn’t lived them on a daily basis.

They over take your life and your mind.

They can be…

-what it looks like to take every ounce of energy- just to get out of bed.

-your body constantly trembling from the inside, out.

-every noise and touch being over stimulating.

-negative thoughts in and out, controlling your mind. All. Day.

-holding onto the past, and fear of the future.

If you are reading this right now, and you are in that place. Like, deep, dark, in that place. I want you to know that there is hope. With help and tools, you can overcome. You can see the light again, or even for the first time.

Are you living life minute by minute? Wake up, shower, eat, go to work, eat supper, sleep. Repeat?

Many people I know have dealt with this. I have dealt with this. So, don’t give up- ok? Keep pushing through. Day by day. Do what you can, and do your best.

If you are in over your head. Like, there is no hope left. Get help. Tell a trusted friend, family member, co-worker, mentor.

Then, seek help from someone who is trained.

Because, although telling that friend is a great relief for you…the other side of that is that now they may be worried about you. And it is not their job, no matter how good of a friend they are, to make you better or to fix you. They can be a good friend, and not know how to help you. They can sit with you, and tell you how much it sucks….

But making things better- that’s up to you. You have to do that. You have to be able to choose to make steps towards feeling better. You have to find the help-again, from someone who is trained. And you can! And it does get better!! I’m here to tell you!

And in this process….

Look for ways to find life.

What do you love to do?

What brings you joy?

You might even ask: What do people do for fun? What do people do to fill themselves up? And the next thought might come: I don’t even remember what fun looks like, anymore.

Here’s what you do. Are you ready?

Find a quiet place. You can close your eyes. Or just sit in silence. Maybe you have some worship music playing ever so quietly in the background. Take some deep breaths to calm yourself. When your mind starts to calm…..and thoughts start to come back into your mind…no, not that one..that one was negative..push it away. Rebuke it.

There it is. That one. Maybe you were thinking….”it’d be nice if I could just _________ right now”. Was it take a shower? Go on a walk? Read a book?

Now. Go do that one thing. Are you at work? That’s ok. Take a break, for a min. Obviously, you don’t need to take advantage of your employer. Be respectful in how you go about taking your break. But, if you’re feeling like you need to be able to breathe. Listen to your body. It’s telling you something. It’s telling you that you need something more, or less, than what you’re putting yourself through right now.

And above all else, know that you are loved by someone that can love you like no one else can.