Car Convos

When my oldest son started PreK4, it was the first time that he was at a school where I would not also be there.

It was harder on me than it was on him.

By this time, our bedtime routine was also getting harder. Making sure that I tucked in both boys, and listen to their stories from the day…or whatever they wanted to tell me…on top of bathtime, and brushing teeth…made for a verrry long bedtime routine. So, I was looking for ways to make our routine shorter. I started singing to them and stopped asking about their day at bedtime…and started asking about their day in the car.

For 2-3 years, it got increasingly harder to get my oldest to talk to me…about anything. This little 4-7 year old.

Then, I remembered an article I had read a couple of years before.

It talked about instead of asking “How was your day? What did you learn today?”

To ask this list of other questions.

So…I did that. For months, it felt like pulling teeth, getting him to talk to me.

He is a car rider, so every day, when he got in the car, I’d ask him “What was your favorite part of your day?”

Then, one day…I purposefully didn’t ask. He would screech, cry, not want to answer…so, one day…I just let it be…

(In a whiny voice) “Mom. You forgot to ask me about my day!”

We were half way home.

“No, son. Every day, you get upset with me when I ask…so, today I decided to take a break. Do you want to tell me about your day?”

“Yes”

“Ok. What was your favorite part of your day?”

That day unlocked a little piece of his heart.

He needed to know that I cared about his day, and he had grown accustomed to me asking.

So, for three years, every day, in the car, I’d ask. Some days, I’d get an answer. Some days, I’d get the dreaded screeches and whining. But, most days our car convos would branch into other things he would want to talk to me about.

Then we moved schools. And that felt like another unlocking moment. He loved where he was at, and he was a completely different kid.

Now, I greet him and his brother, every afternoon with “What was your favorite part of today?”

They love it. It’s something that has brought them closer. And it even gets them talking about their day to each other…

I just have to make sure they have a snack, first….because, you know….#hangry runs in the family.

Our Journey Through Life May Look Different Than We Plan

Today, my younger son asked me for “oils”.

We were reading a story, and his arm was itching on a scab on his arm. I asked him what he needed, and he told me he wanted oils.

It’s funny.

5 years ago, I stopped buying essential oils for our family. My husband and I were in Discipleship School at our church. At the time, I felt like I need to stop buying them, to make room in our budget to help pay for D-school, our trip that was associated with that, and our daughter would be arriving shortly after.

I had a huge inventory for our home, so I was ok with setting aside purchasing any more for a short amount of time.

Well- that short amount of time ended up being five whole years. We are finally nearing the bottom of our inventory. . . and it’s made me reflective of the past five years.

From 2014-2017, I was consistently using essential oils and natural remedies to support my family’s wellness.

But, when I set them aside, so to speak, I have noticed that my family asks for them more when I ask them “what do you need?”

This really made me think. . .

Because, I’ve noticed that a lot of things that I thought were going to “breakthrough” for our family while we were traveling- I didn’t actually see progress on until these past few months, since we have been home.

My kids encouraging each other. My oldest taking responsibility for chores, without being asked. My kids being excited about Church and open to bible stories.

Time and time again, since February, all the things I thought would happen ( because I planned it that way, so of course it’s going to happen that way) while we were traveling, only started happening all this time later. . .

After two years of consistency and space.

I know that some of these things may seem very small or trivial.

However, it just really highlighted for me- that we are all on our own time table in our journeys through life. No matter what that looks like.

We can’t expect things to happen a certain way, on our journey, let alone other people’s.

Life happens, there are ups and downs, curve-balls are thrown.

No matter what it is that you are waiting on, things will come together in due time- whether it looks like you thought it would, or not.

Waiting

Have you ever been waiting, waiting, waiting, on breakthrough? A Decision? An Event or circumstance? News?

I don’t know about you, but every.single.time. I am impatient. I’ll admit, over the years, it’s gotten a little easier each time. And yet, I am so done with the process. It’s a growing phase, I am sure. But sometimes, I just want the process to go smoothly. What’s that saying…about diamonds being made under pressure? Sometimes, I enjoy the pressure. I know that something big will come from it, and I will learn something. This time. This season. I’m done. I just want to breathe for longer than a few minutes, few weeks, few months.

I just want a season, where I don’t feel like my head is just above the water.

I’m ready to soar.

Until then, I will keep finding the little moments. I will keep building a life designed to include breathing in the small spaces. Until the small spaces become wide open fields.

It’s funny, though. Even the fields aren’t as wide open as they look from a distance.

It takes time and patience to cultivate any type of field.

Maybe we just need to run through life like we would a field of sunflowers.

A field of sunflowers has weeds. It has obstacles. Yet, running through and around it feels so freeing.

So, we can….work, persevere, be faithful. Find moments of play. And when the harvest comes in, get ready to clear the land for the next season’s crop.

When grasping at straws…

Purpose-the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. (Dictionary.com)

Today, I am struggling. I am struggling to know which direction to take a step.

I know that I am made for a purpose. I know I have a purpose….. Do you ever get stuck in this spot: “What the heck am I supposed to be doing with my life?

That’s where I am right now. I have all of these things that I know that I am passionate about and good at.

But, how do I combine them to give them life and meaning to others? How do I use them to bring in income to help provide for my family, and the lifestyle we will be living? How do I…..?

I start grasping at straws.

I sit and mope.

I allow myself to get distracted.

drink colorful color tube

 

When I get in this spot…sometimes, it’s hard to remember…that all I have to do…is just to do. Do something. One thing….anything. Anything to make progress towards the BIG PICTURE. (I tend to get focused on the big picture and can’t see the small steps to get there).

I have said, written, and posted this so many times. Because I keep needing to hear it, think about it, and process it.

The good news is, when I have these moments. Moments of grasping, moping, and distracting…I am starting to get quicker at redirecting myself. Moments that used to take months, years… are now taking days, hours. One day- it will take minutes, then seconds.

Hopefully, over the coming weeks and months, I will be able to share the big picture with you all….but,

If there is anything that you take away from this, I hope you know that you can do it, too. You can take action. You can take steps towards your big picture. All of the lies you are believing don’t have to rein your thoughts.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Are you trying to figure something new out? For the hundredth time? Do you feel like you keep failing? Do you keep putting something down, to pick it up and put it back down again?

That’s ok!

Each time you do, you learn something new. Take that lesson, and apply it-each time you pick whatever that thing is back up. Be kind on yourself in the process.

During this journey, I have found that the best action against whatever it is your are “fighting” (anxiety, fear, etc.) is to take action. Do something. Do anything (that is legal, moral, ethical, and productive) to get you one step closer to your goal. Along the way, you will find your purpose.

Make that call. Write that email. Take that picture. Walk that lap.

Most of all, enjoy the process. (I know! Easier said than done-but you can do that, too!)

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

-Rooted Mama

Waiting

Have you ever been waiting, waiting, waiting, on breakthrough? A Decision? An Event or circumstance? News?

I don’t know about you, but every.single.time. I am impatient. I’ll admit, over the years, it’s gotten a little easier each time. And yet, I am so done with the process. It’s a growing phase, I am sure. But sometimes, I just want the process to go smoothly. What’s that saying…about diamonds being made under pressure? Sometimes, I enjoy the pressure. I know that something big will come from it, and I will learn something. This time. This season. I’m done. I just want to breathe for longer than a few minutes, few weeks, few months.

I just want a season, where I don’t feel like my head is just above the water.

I’m ready to soar.

Until then, I will keep finding the little moments. I will keep building a life designed to include breathing in the small spaces. Until the small spaces become wide open fields.

It’s funny, though. Even the fields aren’t as wide open as they look from a distance.

It takes time and patience to cultivate any type of field.

Maybe we just need to run through life like we would a field of sunflowers.

A field of sunflowers has weeds. It has obstacles. Yet, running through and around it feels so freeing.

So, we can….work, persevere, be faithful. Find moments of play. And when the harvest comes in, get ready to clear the land for the next season’s crop.

Flipped

I can’t begin to tell you, how many times, over the last 2-3 years that I’ve paused. . .and thought: life just doesn’t even make sense right now.

Before 2020, life felt certain. Even when we were planning to travel in 2018/2019. . .I may not have been 100% sure what to expect, but I felt certain about traveling. I knew that come May 2020, we would be traveling, and I had a plan for what that would look like.

But, even today. . . In 2022. 2 years after it felt like the world flipped upside down. . . I still have days that just don’t make sense and the way I thought things were supposed to be just doesn’t feel certain.

Some days, I feel like I know exactly what I’m doing. Other days, it feels like I’m waiting on something. . .but, I’m not quite sure what?

At this point, I really don’t know what to do with it, other than to trust God.

I don’t know what it means for what life looks like. I don’t know what that means for what my relationship with God looks like.

I just know. . . It is what it is.

I don’t know if maybe you still flipped upside down? Maybe from the pandemic? Maybe from another kind of loss?

If you do feel that way. Know that you are not alone.

Just remember, through it all: breathe. Breathe and trust.

It’s 2022

How did that happen, again?

2019- early 2020, I was excited to start writing, again.

Then, the pandemic.

Then, we started traveling, full-time, and homeschooling.

And writing. . . well, that went on the back burner.

And, these past 3 years. . . They’ve been hard, but they have given me SO much!

I’ m excited to start unpacking all of that. To share our journey. To help others.

Resolutions. New Year, New Me. All of that seems heavy to me, this year. I want nothing to do with it.

What are you

But, I do know what I’m looking forward to: continuing our homeschool journey, more trips, enjoying life, sunsets, warm weather, being outdoors, spending time with family and friends, and so much more!

What are you looking forward to?

Dear America, It’s time.

This has been weighing heavily on my heart.

My goal in writing this, is not to diminish any one side’s voice.

Rather, to bring to the table that there is a time and a season for everything.

I feel like I’m pretty middle of the road- and even so, I know I’m still at fault, at times.

I’ve spent the better part of the past year trying my best to listen, and I still felt like there were times my voice wasn’t heard.

On one end, I’m tired of being a punching bag, on other, I need to stop throwing the punches, on the other, it’s time I make amends, and use my voice to help build bridges.

The point of this is, cycles happen- and they don’t break until there is change.

And, there needs to be more people standing up in the gap, building bridges to make change.

This is not to say that this is necessarily “your time” for any specific area- rather, whatever you are ready for, and on your time table- I’ll hope that you’ll remember and be open to what changes you are personally ready to take.

Politics aside, this is not to say don’t stand up for what you believe in.

Rather, stand up for what you believe in and be loving to your neighbor. Hear when you have wronged others, and when you’re ready- because we are all on different time tables- break the cycle.

We all have a responsibility to the parts we play in our circles, in our society, and in the world.

In different aspects of our lives, we may be in different parts of the cycle. We may be breaking cycles in one area, and still needing a lot of work in another. And in some- man, do we really need to just stop talking, and start listening and doing!

If I’m way off base, or you feel like any part of this was hurtful- please feel free to open up to conversation with me!

My goal is to keep a space that allows for honest, open communication that works towards coming together.

What’s Even the Point?

What’s even the point?

I find myself thinking this on a daily basis.

I’ve poured myself- given all that I can: mentally, physically, emotionally…I’m sure the list goes on..into a lot of aspects of my life over the years.

And, it currently feels like some of it was for nothing.

Don’t get me wrong- there have been a lot of positives, and a lot of growth.

And I probably need to do a journal to process through things…but I still can’t get the thought out of my head: What’s the point?

What was the point of x,y,z circumstance if x,y,z door was closed, or x, y, z growth didn’t happen. You get the picture.

Honestly, the only answer I have right now is that there is a season for everything. I may never know the reason why I’m feeling this way currently. Or maybe, I’m feeling this way and I just need to get out of my own head.

I also know that, if I’m feeling this way- there is probably somebody else out there feeling this way too.

I’ve always been a big believer in sharing what I have gone through, or am currently going through so others know they aren’t alone.

I know that things may seem hopeless or frustrating. But know, that you.are.not.alone.

In case this is just an: I need to get out of my own head moment. . . Here’s what I plan to do-

*Journal

*Talk about it- sometimes just talking through it helps me to process in a different way. And getting it off my chest helps me to let it go.

* Write to share (here)

*Pray about it and seek God

Feel free to join me! Or ask a friend, therapist/counselor/ professional or google and find your own ways to work through it!!

It’s all about creating your toolbox of resources!