Waiting

Waiting 

Have you ever been waiting? Waiting on a promise of God? You can see right behind you, the old is gone, yet, in the same breadth, the new is just out of reach. Your fingertips are touching it, but you can’t quite grasp it, yet. Oh, that place is such a hard place to be. 

In Isaiah 43, the Bible says: “Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. see! I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams In the wasteland.” ( v 18-19). 

(V 25-26) 

“I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. Review the past for me, let us argue the matter together; state the case for your innocence.”

We hold onto the past, and still hold onto hope for the future. But..we can’t have both. We must come to God with open hands and say: Father, I lay down who I was. I have sinned. I repent, and I choose to walk with you. I choose your ways over my ways, Lord. 

Challenge: 

This week, thank God for who He is. Thank Him that He blots out your transgressions. Thank Him that He remembers your sin no more. 

Repent to Him. Repent for the ways you have sinned, known and unknown. Lay it all down at his feet, with open hands. Don’t pick it back up. He’s already forgiven you. And if you do pick it back up…because we’re human. Repent again, and put it right back down. 

Now, look up. Look for the new things He is doing. When you see it, jot it down in your journal. Or save it on your phone to jot it down later. 

Talk with Him about it: God, give me wisdom. What is my role in your plan? 

Thank Him, again. 

Thank you God that your promises are true. Thank you, God that you are faithful.

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Unchanging

Unchanging

Malachi 3:6-11 throughout the Bible and throughout time, scripture shows again and again that God is an unchanging God. He remains the same. When we feel distant from God, it is not God who is distant, it is us.

In Malachi, 3:6-11, we see that our actions can keep us distant from God. We rob God our time and our resources.

Read Malachi 3. Meditate on verses 6-11.

Have a conversation with God.

Ask him: “God, where in my life am I robbing you of my time and resources?”

Challenge:

Write it down. Whatever He speaks…it may come later, while you are working, doing chores, watching TV…stop what you are doing and write it down in your journal.

Now. How can you reconcile “that thing” with God? Spend time with God this week asking Him how you can give back to Him and His kingdom. Once you’ve figured it out, with God. Tell your spouse, mentor, accountability partner, or friend. Make sure to check your heart, before you do. This is about accountability, and God getting the glory…not you. Got all that done? Great. Now go do it.

Verse 11 shows us what will happen when we reconcile with God, what will happen when we are honest with God. He basically tells us “Child of mine, I’ve got your back. I will defend you”. Meditate on verse 11.

Repent and ask forgiveness: God, I have robbed you of ___________. Father, I repent and change my ways. Please forgive me for _________. I want to draw near and close to your heart.

Follow through- Do the thing you said you would change.

Thank Him and Give Him the glory. Thank Him before, during, and after. When God is faithful to do what He said He would do, your story is now His story. Share what happened with someone who needs to know. Invite God into that process. Ask Him who needs to know. When you share what He has done in your life, He gets the glory.

Photo by Cliford Mervil on Pexels.com

A New Season

Wow. Have you ever looked back on a time in your life…a time where you thought you were happy. You thought things were the way you were wanting to live, and even though you thought you wanted to live that way…things just didn’t feel right…Only to come out of that season and think…Man, I was not happy.  There was a lot going on there. Those aren’t the things I wanted. That’s not how I wanted to live. I am coming out of one of those seasons.

I needed it though. Without trial, we don’t appreciate the things in life that we have. We don’t grow. We just stay right where we are. And sometimes, it’s ok to be content with where we are. And it’s also great to want more out of life. To do more. To be more.

I found myself waking up each day. Going to work. Picking up my kids. Coming home. Repeat. Day.After.Day. Sometimes, routine like that is great. That’s where you should be…but for me…I wasn’t living. I didn’t make time for myself. And it wore me down. I was doing for others…but not doing for myself. And we have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others. (this is where I am always reminded of the flight attendant coming over the intercom, explaining that in case of emergency to place your breathing contraption on before you can help others.)

I found myself slowly depending on God more and more. He brought me to a point where I needed to depend on Him to live. He showed me that His love is what fills me up. That I can get my joy from Him.

And now, I feel like I am living more in the present. I look forward to living life. I have more joy. Some days I fall flat on my face. And my savior is there to pick me up. I’d rather it be some days…than most days. I’d rather depend on Jesus most days. I try for all days, but I’m human…

I’m glad to be back. I’m glad to be myself, again. I have a lot to say, a lot to share, and I’ve found my voice again. I can’t wait to walk this life with you!!

A new season has begun. 417614_10150596051541806_1618798859_n

Can I just end on one note. If you are reading this…and you don’t feel this way…know that you ARE loved. Whatever you are feeling like you are not…you are. Can I challenge you? Whatever you are feeling like you are not…will you go look at yourself in the mirror and say: I am ( fill in the blank with whatever you are thinking you are not)… I AM enough. I AM a good mom. I AM smart. I AM peaceful. I AM joyful. I AM loved. You ARE!

Giving God Control

Giving God control is one of the hardest things to do.

By human nature…we all want to have control over our circumstances in life.

Add any kind of anxiety…and multiply that by ten.

When I have a situation that I am hoping will change…it usually doesn’t happen as quickly as I would like. So, I get impatient. I start grasping at everything, and try to control the situation. And…9x out of 10...I only make matters worse.

I....

*just end up making myself more anxious..leaving no space for peace.

*causing problems in my relationships…often times, unaware that I’ve even done so.

* put my promises on hold.

This week, I had a light bulb moment.

As I was going through devotionals in my you version bible app, and towards the end of the week, I gave up a few things.

I’m no expert on fasting. In fact..I’m quite the novice.

But, I felt led to give up these things for certain periods of time during the end of the week.

And just today, I gained some clarity on something I was seeking wisdom for.

But first, I had to give up control. And that was extremely hard to do.

You have to go through your own journey with giving God control…but, I love to forward resources that have helped me.

In the comments, I’ll leave links to the Bible devotionals that I went through this week. I’m not really tech savvy, so if I can’t get it to work…I’ll post the names of the devotionals and the authors..and hopefully that’ll make it easier.

They are really great. I hope you are blessed by them.

Trusting God is Hard

Reposting from May 21, 2021

Sometimes, trusting God is hard. For a while now, I’ve been waiting on God in some key areas of my life. And, it feels like He is ignoring me. Deep desires of my heart. I feel like all I hear is crickets.

If I’m honest, the lack of answers. . . The sitting in waiting. The doing the work, only to get knocked down 15 levels. It has been so painful. The kind of painful that you are at the end of patience for waiting, and into I don’t even care any more, so I’m just going to stop praying and stop drawing near to God.

And that is so much more frustrating. Because, now I feel even further away from who I feel like God has called me to be. So much further away than Him being at the center of my marriage and our family. Further away, from where God has said He called me to. Further away from what He promised. Like, it all feels impossible. No matter which way I look- I don’t see how He is going to answer these prayers. I don’t see how He is going to bring healing.

And with the craziness of this last year- nothing makes sense right now. Absolutely nothing.

I was so sure that if x,y,z would happen, then God would x,y,z in our lives.

I do feel like He keeps sending me little reminders of His perfect timing, but right now- it is so hard to keep the faith that He will turn things around.

All of this has been weighing heavily on my heart.

And if you are out there reading this, just know:

It’s ok to be feel this way while you are in the waiting. Lay it all out to God- Trust me, He can handle it.

Following God doesn’t all of a sudden make life easier, and sunshine and roses. If you are feeling like it’s you and you aren’t worthy. That’s not true. You are so worthy. God loves you through the trials. Even if it feel like you aren’t alone, and you don’t want to pray about it any more. He is right there with you, waiting on you! He is patient.

Whatever it is you are waiting on- whatever storm you are walking through. There’s a rainbow on the other side. It’s beautiful. It won’t be stormy forever. When it’s hard, keep take one little step at a time, and He will guide you!

Even when it feels foggy. Even when it feels hard. Even when it feels like life is upside down, and you don’t see how anything will improve. Just keep walking. He is faithful.

Unchanging

Unchanging

Malachi 3:6-11 throughout the Bible and throughout time, scripture shows again and again that God is an unchanging God. He remains the same. When we feel distant from God, it is not God who is distant, it is us.

In Malachi, 3:6-11, we see that our actions can keep us distant from God. We rob God our time and our resources.

Read Malachi 3. Meditate on verses 6-11.

Have a conversation with God.

Ask him: “God, where in my life am I robbing you of my time and resources?”

Challenge:

Write it down. Whatever He speaks…it may come later, while you are working, doing chores, watching TV…stop what you are doing and write it down in your journal.

Now. How can you reconcile “that thing” with God? Spend time with God this week asking Him how you can give back to Him and His kingdom. Once you’ve figured it out, with God. Tell your spouse, mentor, accountability partner, or friend. Make sure to check your heart, before you do. This is about accountability, and God getting the glory…not you. Got all that done? Great. Now go do it.

Verse 11 shows us what will happen when we reconcile with God, what will happen when we are honest with God. He basically tells us “Child of mine, I’ve got your back. I will defend you”. Meditate on verse 11.

Repent and ask forgiveness: God, I have robbed you of ___________. Father, I repent and change my ways. Please forgive me for _________. I want to draw near and close to your heart.

Follow through- Do the thing you said you would change.

Thank Him and Give Him the glory. Thank Him before, during, and after. When God is faithful to do what He said He would do, your story is now His story. Share what happened with someone who needs to know. Invite God into that process. Ask Him who needs to know. When you share what He has done in your life, He gets the glory.

Photo by Cliford Mervil on Pexels.com

Trusting God is Hard

Sometimes, trusting God is hard. For a while now, I’ve been waiting on God in some key areas of my life. And, it feels like He is ignoring me. Deep desires of my heart. I feel like all I hear is crickets.

If I’m honest, the lack of answers. . . The sitting in waiting. The doing the work, only to get knocked down 15 levels. It has been so painful. The kind of painful that you are at the end of patience for waiting, and into I don’t even care any more, so I’m just going to stop praying and stop drawing near to God.

And that is so much more frustrating. Because, now I feel even further away from who I feel like God has called me to be. So much further away than Him being at the center of my marriage and our family. Further away, from where God has said He called me to. Further away from what He promised. Like, it all feels impossible. No matter which way I look- I don’t see how He is going to answer these prayers. I don’t see how He is going to bring healing.

And with the craziness of this last year- nothing makes sense right now. Absolutely nothing.

I was so sure that if x,y,z would happen, then God would x,y,z in our lives.

I do feel like He keeps sending me little reminders of His perfect timing, but right now- it is so hard to keep the faith that He will turn things around.

All of this has been weighing heavily on my heart.

And if you are out there reading this, just know:

It’s ok to be feel this way while you are in the waiting. Lay it all out to God- Trust me, He can handle it.

Following God doesn’t all of a sudden make life easier, and sunshine and roses. If you are feeling like it’s you and you aren’t worthy. That’s not true. You are so worthy. God loves you through the trials. Even if it feel like you aren’t alone, and you don’t want to pray about it any more. He is right there with you, waiting on you! He is patient.

Whatever it is you are waiting on- whatever storm you are walking through. There’s a rainbow on the other side. It’s beautiful. It won’t be stormy forever. When it’s hard, keep take one little step at a time, and He will guide you!

Even when it feels foggy. Even when it feels hard. Even when it feels like life is upside down, and you don’t see how anything will improve. Just keep walking. He is faithful.

Flipped

I can’t begin to tell you, how many times, over the last 2-3 years that I’ve paused. . .and thought: life just doesn’t even make sense right now.

Before 2020, life felt certain. Even when we were planning to travel in 2018/2019. . .I may not have been 100% sure what to expect, but I felt certain about traveling. I knew that come May 2020, we would be traveling, and I had a plan for what that would look like.

But, even today. . . In 2022. 2 years after it felt like the world flipped upside down. . . I still have days that just don’t make sense and the way I thought things were supposed to be just doesn’t feel certain.

Some days, I feel like I know exactly what I’m doing. Other days, it feels like I’m waiting on something. . .but, I’m not quite sure what?

At this point, I really don’t know what to do with it, other than to trust God.

I don’t know what it means for what life looks like. I don’t know what that means for what my relationship with God looks like.

I just know. . . It is what it is.

I don’t know if maybe you still flipped upside down? Maybe from the pandemic? Maybe from another kind of loss?

If you do feel that way. Know that you are not alone.

Just remember, through it all: breathe. Breathe and trust.

Relationship with God Changes

In the past, I’ve shared about my relationship with God, and what I’ve learned during that season.

However, for quite a while…I’ve stepped away from that.

I got to a point, where I realized a few things:

*I needed to do some heart work. Which, to be honest, will always be a thing…but I really needed to do some processing, working and healing.

*I really needed to sit and wait.

* I was completely at a loss on where my relationship with God was, and how that affected my relationship with others. Especially with my husband and kids. I truly felt lost…but not in the same way I felt lost before I found Jesus. More of a wait- “what’s happening” kind of moment. It was, honestly, a weird place to be in.

At this point..I’m still figuring things out…I’m relearning what my relationship with God looks like…and just still processing the last several years, and how change looks.

Right now, what I really want to share with everyone is:

* God is love and his promises are true- even when we can’t see it.

* Whatever you’re going through, whatever you’re feeling towards God- it’s ok!

* Although change happens, and change in my relationship with God and others happens…God is and always will be the same.

* For me: Being a Follower of Jesus, nurturing a relationship with God, loving others (and myself) and building relationship with others, and being the hands and feet of Jesus outside of the four walls of “Church” is what is most important.

*If your relationship with God doesn’t look like it used to. That’s ok. Even our relationship with God ebbs and flows. And just like our relationships with friends and family mature, so does our relationship with Him! So, change needs to happen on our end!

* My hope is that you know that you are loved beyond all measure by someone who can love you more deeply and unconditionally than any other, ever!

Relationship with God Changes

In the past, I’ve shared about my relationship with God, and what I’ve learned during that season.

However, for quite a while…I’ve stepped away from that.

I got to a point, where I realized a few things:

*I needed to do some heart work. Which, to be honest, will always be a thing…but I really needed to do some processing, working and healing.

*I really needed to sit and wait.

* I was completely at a loss on where my relationship with God was, and how that affected my relationship with others. Especially with my husband and kids. I truly felt lost…but not in the same way I felt lost before I found Jesus. More of a wait- “what’s happening” kind of moment. It was, honestly, a weird place to be in.

At this point..I’m still figuring things out…I’m relearning what my relationship with God looks like…and just still processing the last several years, and how change looks.

Right now, what I really want to share with everyone is:

* God is love and his promises are true- even when we can’t see it.

* Whatever you’re going through, whatever you’re feeling towards God- it’s ok!

* Although change happens, and change in my relationship with God and others happens…God is and always will be the same.

* For me: Being a Follower of Jesus, nurturing a relationship with God, loving others (and myself) and building relationship with others, and being the hands and feet of Jesus outside of the four walls of “Church” is what is most important.

*If your relationship with God doesn’t look like it used to. That’s ok. Even our relationship with God ebbs and flows. And just like our relationships with friends and family mature, so does our relationship with Him! So, change needs to happen on our end!

* My hope is that you know that you are loved beyond all measure by someone who can love you more deeply and unconditionally than any other, ever!