Anxiously Waiting

I’ve spent a lot of time, these last few years just waiting. Waiting on God.

In some instances, in the waiting, I have felt like I couldn’t trust God any more. I have felt hurt. I have felt left behind. I’ve even been plain mad at God. And this past week, I have felt the most anxious I have felt in a very long time.

A lot of things don’t make sense.

I can’t even count any more, how many times, since 2020 that I’ve said: Life just doesn’t make sense right now.

But there are some things, that I am confident of:

* I’m confident that whatever you’re going through, you are not alone and you are loved. There are sooo many people out there sharing their stories. They share their stories, for many reasons. Know that one of those reasons, are so that you and I know that we are not in this life and journey alone. And you are loved. There is a tribe out there that loves you, even if you haven’t found them yet. There is a person out there that loves you more than anyone ever could. And He will leave the 99 to come find you!

*I’m confident that while the waiting sucks, there’s a purpose. And then waiting is painful sometimes, but God can use that pain. He can use that pain to help other people. You can (although not always) use what comes from that pain, on the other side of that pain, and sometimes even in that pain to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

*This one is hard for me to say, right now…but, I know it as a truth- because God’s word is true, and because I’ve seen Him work over and over and over again. I’ve seen it happen in my life, in my friends’ lives, and in complete stranger’s lives. All of that to say: God’s plan and timing is perfect. It’s better than anything you or I could ever dream. And, while I know this to be true…it’s a truth that I’m struggling to hold onto, at this moment.

Honestly, I could keep going on. But, please know, this last week of the year…If you are still waiting on God for His perfect timing, if you are feeling alone, if the pain is too much to bare, right now. He is the light in the dark. He loves you more than you could imagine. I know it’s hard, right now…but, keep holding on!

When You’re Not In The Holiday Spirit: That’s Ok!

It’s almost December. Like, tomorrow. I really truly want to be in the Holiday spirit, but today. . . I’m not feeling it.

My husband is out of town.

I’m tired.

I miss my family.

I miss my friends.

We’ve had 6 different illnesses run through the family in one month, and it’s looking like this winter is going to be a rough one.

And, I’m just weary from waiting on God. I’ve been processing this waiting period, and it just doesn’t make sense. Maybe it never will?

So, you know what? I’m just going to let myself feel all the feels.

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned in life, it’s this: Feel All the Feels.

Let yourself think about the frustrating things. Be sad that life doesn’t look the way you planned. Feel hopeful for the future. Laugh at the funny things in life, and allow yourself to have fun. Feel happy, when you find joy in something. . .

It’s when you hold those things back, that you’re not being your true self.

And, just remember to not camp out in one space for too long. If you’re mad or angry for too long, you run the risk of only thinking negative. And, if you pretend to be happy, when you’re not- and you shove those feelings down. . . They’ll find a way out.

That doesn’t mean you have to display every emotion, publicly.

But, allow yourself, and love yourself enough, to process those feelings, privately- or with a trusted person!

If you’re also not feeling the Holiday spirit, today. . . I’m sending you love. Know that you’re not alone. This world needs you.

Giving God Control

Giving God control is one of the hardest things to do.

By human nature…we all want to have control over our circumstances in life.

Add any kind of anxiety…and multiply that by ten.

When I have a situation that I am hoping will change…it usually doesn’t happen as quickly as I would like. So, I get impatient. I start grasping at everything, and try to control the situation. And…9x out of 10...I only make matters worse.

I....

*just end up making myself more anxious..leaving no space for peace.

*causing problems in my relationships…often times, unaware that I’ve even done so.

* put my promises on hold.

This week, I had a light bulb moment.

As I was going through devotionals in my you version bible app, and towards the end of the week, I gave up a few things.

I’m no expert on fasting. In fact..I’m quite the novice.

But, I felt led to give up these things for certain periods of time during the end of the week.

And just today, I gained some clarity on something I was seeking wisdom for.

But first, I had to give up control. And that was extremely hard to do.

You have to go through your own journey with giving God control…but, I love to forward resources that have helped me.

In the comments, I’ll leave links to the Bible devotionals that I went through this week. I’m not really tech savvy, so if I can’t get it to work…I’ll post the names of the devotionals and the authors..and hopefully that’ll make it easier.

They are really great. I hope you are blessed by them.

Growth in life

I’ve been contemplating lately on change and growth, and I have to keep reminding myself. . . So, naturally, I felt led to share.

Growth in your life, no matter the area, requires a few things:

* Getting out of your own way

* Overcoming obstacles

* Setting goals, yet being flexible on the time line- it’s also important to remember that it’s ok to set a goal down, and pick it back up later!

* Being honest with yourself

Growth takes change, and if you’re not ready to change- you’re not ready to grow.

So, if you’re feeling “stuck” in a certain area of your life- you might ask yourself a question!

Am I ok with staying where I’m at?! Or, do I want to do the work to change what is no longer benefiting me?!

For me, I know it’s time to start doing the work on some things I’ve been avoiding. Know that if you’re there, too- you’ve got this. It’ll be hard, but it’ll be worth it!

Helping Our Kids Find Their Calm

Today, my kids are cranky and fighting like crazy.

On days like these, their emotions tend to run high.

Recently, we’ve talked about them creating healthy boundaries with each other. When one of them is upset or bothered by something one of the others did, they need to be able to communicate without blowing up at each other.

So, we decided that we are going to read a book about healthy boundaries, together .

I’m confident, that this will be a helpful resource for them to find their journey to calm and peace.

Some other things we have practiced are:

*Me working on being a better example for them. First, they need to see their parents setting a good example of having healthy boundaries and communicating well.

* When they can’t be around each other without arguing, or if they are needing to calm down: we go to natural lights only. We turn as many lights off as possible, open up windows, and playing calming music. Give them their own space to calm down in.

*Calming smells- we use calming essential oils to help them with their emotions and to relax.

*Talk it through- sometimes, they just need to talk through what’s been bothering them. So, we talk one-on-one, and then as a group to work through the problem. This has really helped them to lighten the mood, resolve, and move on from whatever was bothering them.

*One-on-one time: sometimes, they act out and fight with each other, simply because they need some one-on-one time.

Helping our kids with their own mental health and emotions is important. How do you help your kids with their calm?!

Waiting

Have you ever been waiting, waiting, waiting, on breakthrough? A Decision? An Event or circumstance? News?

I don’t know about you, but every.single.time. I am impatient. I’ll admit, over the years, it’s gotten a little easier each time. And yet, I am so done with the process. It’s a growing phase, I am sure. But sometimes, I just want the process to go smoothly. What’s that saying…about diamonds being made under pressure? Sometimes, I enjoy the pressure. I know that something big will come from it, and I will learn something. This time. This season. I’m done. I just want to breathe for longer than a few minutes, few weeks, few months.

I just want a season, where I don’t feel like my head is just above the water.

I’m ready to soar.

Until then, I will keep finding the little moments. I will keep building a life designed to include breathing in the small spaces. Until the small spaces become wide open fields.

It’s funny, though. Even the fields aren’t as wide open as they look from a distance.

It takes time and patience to cultivate any type of field.

Maybe we just need to run through life like we would a field of sunflowers.

A field of sunflowers has weeds. It has obstacles. Yet, running through and around it feels so freeing.

So, we can….work, persevere, be faithful. Find moments of play. And when the harvest comes in, get ready to clear the land for the next season’s crop.

Waiting

Have you ever been waiting, waiting, waiting, on breakthrough? A Decision? An Event or circumstance? News?

I don’t know about you, but every.single.time. I am impatient. I’ll admit, over the years, it’s gotten a little easier each time. And yet, I am so done with the process. It’s a growing phase, I am sure. But sometimes, I just want the process to go smoothly. What’s that saying…about diamonds being made under pressure? Sometimes, I enjoy the pressure. I know that something big will come from it, and I will learn something. This time. This season. I’m done. I just want to breathe for longer than a few minutes, few weeks, few months.

I just want a season, where I don’t feel like my head is just above the water.

I’m ready to soar.

Until then, I will keep finding the little moments. I will keep building a life designed to include breathing in the small spaces. Until the small spaces become wide open fields.

It’s funny, though. Even the fields aren’t as wide open as they look from a distance.

It takes time and patience to cultivate any type of field.

Maybe we just need to run through life like we would a field of sunflowers.

A field of sunflowers has weeds. It has obstacles. Yet, running through and around it feels so freeing.

So, we can….work, persevere, be faithful. Find moments of play. And when the harvest comes in, get ready to clear the land for the next season’s crop.

Anxiety and self care

*Repost: I wanted to re-share some posts that I’ve previously written. Mainly, because, before change come healing and working on yourself.

Wow. When I wrote this…it was back around Thanksgiving. I remember this one-two week period, distinctively. It was the moment I realized that I really and truly have to shut down, all of the things, so that I may feel all the feels and sort through all of the thoughts. Now that we are 3 months into Corona time, with all of the things that are currently going on in our world. I’ve realized that there are some amazing people out there who don’t know that what they are going through is ok. What you are feeling is ok. You are not alone. If you are someone who lacks the support you need, I’m working on creating a resources page. If your situation is urgent, I implore you…find and seek help in your local community. In the meantime, I hope this reflection of what I wrote back in November is helpful and brings you hope.

Anxiety and Self-care:

Over these last couple of weeks, I felt myself winding up…anxiety wise. I couldn’t figure out what was going on…but I felt like I needed to slow down. So, I did.

I allowed myself to not go full steam ahead.

I allowed myself to slow down and tune in.

If I didn’t feel like writing, I didn’t. In fact, I slowed down to pretty much only my 30 Days of Thankfulness that I was 100% committed to.

I slowed down on house work—to what needed immediate attention…

You know, I have talked about my “5 Daily Things” I started making progress towards, after hearing John Maxwell speak this summer…and for 2 weeks…I didn’t focus on those at all.

And that’s fine. I needed to slow down and figure out what was triggering me.

It took a couple of weeks, and one good night of crying…but I finally figured it out and got all of that anxiety tension released.

I love this article about anxiety and self-care.

We really need to make ourselves, and listening to our bodies a priority.

When we are taking care of ourselves, we are better able to take care of others.

There is room and grace for survival mode.

There is room and grace for missing out on taking care of ourselves. It happens.

But, once we cue in…we can slow down to figure out what’s going on. And what we need to do.

Check out the article. Tell me what you think. I’ve tried all of these tips and agree.

It’s funny, because I used to hate yoga for exercise. It felt slow and awkward. But last year, I tried it for a season and loved it. It was just what I needed..and I’ve been missing it, since I gave it up last summer.

When you think about self care, don’t be surprised if something you used to hate or would never think about doing for you turns into a something you like.

If something crosses your mind to try…try it.

If you’re a mama-or someone who needs self care, but doesn’t have a budget to spend on yourself…don’t worry.

When I started my self-care journey I had to get creative, because we didn’t have the budget for me to go get massages, pedicures, and the like every week.

I’ll share resources on some budget friendly and simple ways to find self-care. As well as, things that are self-care that you may not have thought about. I certainly didn’t.

Change is Needed

There has been a lot going on the last two years. So. Much.

I already knew that we needed a change, as a society.

However, the last two years. . . It has really opened my eyes to just HOW MUCH change we need.

When I think of all the things that need to change. I am reminded that it starts on an individual level. One person makes changes in their lives, and then those changes have a ripple effect on the people their are closest to in their lives, and so on.

If you’re eyes are just opening to the fact their needs to be a monumental shift in America.

Start small.

Start with one small thing that you can implement in your life.

Think about the things you are watching, reading, how much time are you spending on social media? Think about the places you are spending your money. What are you putting your time and energy into?

Then, hone in on just one thing to change. Maybe, you and your family cut back on tv time, or the type of tv you’ve been watching. Maybe you shift the kind of music you’ve been listening to.

Change it. Set a goal for one day, for one week, for one month, for one year.

If you mess up. DO. NOT. Be. Hard.On.Yourself. Do not. DO not beat your self up. Give your self grace. Dust yourself off, and get back up, and keep at it.

I can’t tell you those things that you need to change. You know what’s best for yourself and your family.

I can give ideas and resources, and that’s what I’ll be here for.

Change is hard. You may see some small improvements. You may see no improvements. You and your family may take 1 step forward, just to get 10 steps backwards.

AND- you may come out of a season. . . And, all of a sudden. You’ll see it. The work you and your family has done to make changes. You’ll see the fruit. It’ll be beautiful. It’ll be worth it.

Let’s get ready for change.

A little encouragement:

Some days are hard.

You might feel the tension of wanting to get past a certain obstacle, once-and-for-all.

You might feel like you just don’t have the energy.

You might feel like you’re.just.done.

You keep pressing forward, and put one foot in front of the other.

Then, the tides turn.

You realize that the things you have prayed, wished, hoped, and longed for- they are beginning to unfold.

All the things that didn’t make sense before are beginning to make sense, now.

Y’all know that I’m BIG on sharing what I’m going through in the hopes that it helps someone. That if someone else relates, or gets hope from it- than it’s important to share!

Today, I realized, that so many things I’ve prayed for over the last 10 years have begun to come to tuition- even if they didn’t look the way I intended- or according to my plan.

Today, I want to encourage you- if you are there, in the deep of it all.

If you can barely see what’s ahead of you.

If you are barely surviving- and holding on. . . Keep on keeping on.

Keep fighting.

Keep pushing forward- because- if you pursue the things that are on your heart.

Man, things will look different.

I can promise you the timeline. That’ll look different for each and every person. It’ll depend on how much of the work you put in- but, man. . .

Where you see darkness, now- you’ll see the light and beauty, later!

Keep holding on! Keep fighting. Keep making changes!