Sometimes, trusting God is hard. For a while now, I’ve been waiting on God in some key areas of my life. And, it feels like He is ignoring me. Deep desires of my heart. I feel like all I hear is crickets.
If I’m honest, the lack of answers. . . The sitting in waiting. The doing the work, only to get knocked down 15 levels. It has been so painful. The kind of painful that you are at the end of patience for waiting, and into I don’t even care any more, so I’m just going to stop praying and stop drawing near to God.
And that is so much more frustrating. Because, now I feel even further away from who I feel like God has called me to be. So much further away than Him being at the center of my marriage and our family. Further away, from where God has said He called me to. Further away from what He promised. Like, it all feels impossible. No matter which way I look- I don’t see how He is going to answer these prayers. I don’t see how He is going to bring healing.
And with the craziness of this last year- nothing makes sense right now. Absolutely nothing.
I was so sure that if x,y,z would happen, then God would x,y,z in our lives.
I do feel like He keeps sending me little reminders of His perfect timing, but right now- it is so hard to keep the faith that He will turn things around.
All of this has been weighing heavily on my heart.
And if you are out there reading this, just know:
It’s ok to be feel this way while you are in the waiting. Lay it all out to God- Trust me, He can handle it.
Following God doesn’t all of a sudden make life easier, and sunshine and roses. If you are feeling like it’s you and you aren’t worthy. That’s not true. You are so worthy. God loves you through the trials. Even if it feel like you aren’t alone, and you don’t want to pray about it any more. He is right there with you, waiting on you! He is patient.
Whatever it is you are waiting on- whatever storm you are walking through. There’s a rainbow on the other side. It’s beautiful. It won’t be stormy forever. When it’s hard, keep take one little step at a time, and He will guide you!
Even when it feels foggy. Even when it feels hard. Even when it feels like life is upside down, and you don’t see how anything will improve. Just keep walking. He is faithful.