Anxiety and depression. The darkness that these two are can be hard to explain to someone who hasn’t lived them on a daily basis.
They over take your life and your mind.
They can be…
-what it looks like to take every ounce of energy- just to get out of bed.
-your body constantly trembling from the inside, out.
-every noise and touch being over stimulating.
-negative thoughts in and out, controlling your mind. All. Day.
-holding onto the past, and fear of the future.
If you are reading this right now, and you are in that place. Like, deep, dark, in that place. I want you to know that there is hope. With help and tools, you can overcome. You can see the light again, or even for the first time.
Are you living life minute by minute? Wake up, shower, eat, go to work, eat supper, sleep. Repeat?
Many people I know have dealt with this. I have dealt with this. So, don’t give up- ok? Keep pushing through. Day by day. Do what you can, and do your best.
If you are in over your head. Like, there is no hope left. Get help. Tell a trusted friend, family member, co-worker, mentor.
Then, seek help from someone who is trained.
Because, although telling that friend is a great relief for you…the other side of that is that now they may be worried about you. And it is not their job, no matter how good of a friend they are, to make you better or to fix you. They can be a good friend, and not know how to help you. They can sit with you, and tell you how much it sucks….
But making things better- that’s up to you. You have to do that. You have to be able to choose to make steps towards feeling better. You have to find the help-again, from someone who is trained. And you can! And it does get better!! I’m here to tell you!
And in this process….
Look for ways to find life.
What do you love to do?
What brings you joy?
You might even ask: What do people do for fun? What do people do to fill themselves up? And the next thought might come: I don’t even remember what fun looks like, anymore.
Here’s what you do. Are you ready?
Find a quiet place. You can close your eyes. Or just sit in silence. Maybe you have some worship music playing ever so quietly in the background. Take some deep breaths to calm yourself. When your mind starts to calm…..and thoughts start to come back into your mind…no, not that one..that one was negative..push it away. Rebuke it.
There it is. That one. Maybe you were thinking….”it’d be nice if I could just _________ right now”. Was it take a shower? Go on a walk? Read a book?
Now. Go do that one thing. Are you at work? That’s ok. Take a break, for a min. Obviously, you don’t need to take advantage of your employer. Be respectful in how you go about taking your break. But, if you’re feeling like you need to be able to breathe. Listen to your body. It’s telling you something. It’s telling you that you need something more, or less, than what you’re putting yourself through right now.
And above all else, know that you are loved by someone that can love you like no one else can.